Posted on in ACL recovery

My ACL Injury: 2 Weeks Post Op DONE!

Hello Renrenspeakers! I hope all is well! I am back here again, one week later! One thing I have appreciated about my recovery is being able to get back into blogging consistently. I am kinda on a roll, am I right?

It has already been 2 weeks (to be technical, it has been 16 days) since I have had my ACL surgery. I still cannot believe sometimes that I am on the other side of this FINALLY. To be quite honest, recovery has been better than I anticipated. I am very thankful for some return physically, as each day my leg gets stronger and stronger. I am still on crutches, but I have met some milestones already that I would like to share!

Since surgery, being able to lift my leg up has been the hardest thing ever. I have been squeezing that quad again and again and AGAIN and no matter how much I tried… nothing. It felt like a dead leg. My mind to body connection felt severed, and it became very frustrating to have to lift my leg up with maximal effort such as with a gait belt or my stretch band. I definitely had some cries and moments of defeat feeling like I am trying to activate muscles that are just not activating enough.

Then…. suddenly, as I was going through my daily HEP and attempting straight leg raises on Day 12, (mind you, I could only do them with much active assistance at this time) my quad decided to play a trick on me and help me unassisted lift my leg up from the bed. I probably only raised my leg up about 2 inches, BUT my leg had not done any of that since the surgery (besides Day 0 with the nerve block lol). I had to film it and do it again because I could NOT believe what I just saw.

On Day 13, I cried literal tears of joy because my quad was officially awake!!! This was confirmed in PT, as my quad cooperated and did not become shy (I told my quad to not act up in front of my PT, and she listened lol). I was able to complete 1 set of 10 straight leg raises without any assistance, and my leg was actually coming up pretty high off the bed too! It was legit a night and day phenomenon in which my quad finally remembered that it was part of my body and decided to start functioning again. In PT, my leg was UP! I told my PT that this is a new development and I still cannot believe that this was happening because truthfully, I was beginning to really hate the straight leg raise since it magnified how weak my quad was. Whoever knew that being able to lift a leg up would be something so monumental!

On Day 14, I feel like I just began to see even more activation of my quad, enough so that I actually began to take some steps without my crutches, whohoo! I could only mobilize very short distances — crutches still very much required, I might add — but it no longer felt like my whole leg was about to buckle with every step. I am pretty adamant about getting off crutches completely when the time is right, as I would like to normalize my gait rather than just follow an arbitrary timeline. However, to feel more confidence in my knee and to trust that it would not just buckle under my weight was very reassuring. I also had my 2 week post op appointment on Tuesday, and the doc said everything is looking great in terms of swelling and healing. I was able to get my bandaids off completely and see what my scars actually look like. I was even able to see some pictures of the surgery itself and my previous completely obliterated ACL transformed into a newly intact ACL provided by a part of my quad tendon. It was a pretty cool sight to see.

It is now Day 16, and though I am definitely trying to keep myself entertained at home, it is nice to reflect back on some of my very early post op videos and pictures and already see how much progress I have made thus far. The largest lesson I have learned this week is that ACL recovery is by no means a sprint. It is a marathon. I really REALLY have to be patient and just learn how to retrust my knee. For example, my patience regarding initial activation of my quad finally paid off, as I was literally crying the previous day about how annoyed I was that I could not lift up my leg. Sometimes less is better especially if my knee is aggravated. The more reps I do won’t necessarily make a difference if this is not what my knee needs at the moment. ACL recovery is also not linear. After my appointment, I had to do some quick errands, and I noticed that my knee was more achy than it typically had been. In that instance, I tried to initially push through my discomfort, but then realized that it was not doing me any good, let alone my knee. Thus, I forced myself to take a nap and elevate the rest of the evening. When I woke up, it felt much more manageable again. Hence, I gotta listen to that knee because it is telling me something at all times!

I’ve heard from my PT, medical team, and other ACLers that my knee will scream at me if I overdo it sometimes, and it is very true. Finding newfound mobility, especially as a person who loves being a busy bee, I’ve been tempted to test my limits. Recovery has a way of reminding me that the mind and body are not always on the same page — and that sometimes the body wins. That’s okay. I look forward to seeing what week 3 of ACL recovery will look like, what milestones I will achieve, and what challenges I will have to overcome.

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in ACL recovery

My ACL Injury: 1 Week Post Op DONE!

Hello, Renrenspeakers! I hope all is well! I am officially ONE WEEK post-op from my ACL surgery that was done last Tuesday (technically I am day 8 now). I can’t believe how quickly time has flown by. I remember ruminating about surgery day for 6 weeks, wondering how recovery would be like and how much pain I would be in. Now don’t get me wrong — there is definitely physical pain involved. Day 0 (the night after my surgery) was such a tease compared to the week that I’ve had. I had a nerve block that targeted my saphenous nerve for the surgery, and with that, I still had motor movement of my quads. Thus, I was able to get in and out of bed with barely assistance, lift my leg to go to the bathroom, etc. I could even stand for a bit with minimal pain. I felt a lot of numbness in my anterior knee/quad, and I was thinking, “Wow, if I feel like this already, week 1 recovery is gonna be a breeze.” I went to bed feeling pretty good and in minimal discomfort overall.

The next day, I woke up from my leg being elevated all night on my wedge pillow, went to the bathroom, washed my face, brushed my teeth, did the whole thing. I felt fine…. until I did not. The front of my leg felt like it started to burn, and I had to lie down immediately. I was scared that I had already done something wrong to my leg and maybe I overworked it the day before. It quickly clicked that the tingling, burning sensation I was feeling was the effects of my nerve blocker wearing off. Yeah, that maybe 3/10 pain I felt Day 0 quickly shot up to at least an 8/10, even a 9/10 a few moments throughout the day. I was pretty much bedridden with continuous ice and religiously following my medication regimen in order for the pain to somewhat minimize. I had a few cries throughout the day and felt completely defeated — something as basic as swinging my leg over the side of the bed, which I could do the day before, suddenly felt impossible. All I wanted to do was to take a nap, and even taking a nap just caused so much discomfort and pain.

Day 2 is when I felt like I received a new burst of energy and some hope again. Pain was definitely still there, but it felt way more tolerable like a 6/10 even with pain meds than compared to Day 1. I didn’t even cry that day, lol! I was still mostly bedridden, but I found my way back to civilization in small ways — a phone call here, a distraction there.

By days 3-7 things were noticeably better. I felt much stronger, my energy was returning, and I even migrated to the couch to spend time icing and elevating there instead of in my room. I felt like I could tolerate being upright more, and I either got used to the pain, it became more manageable, or I was less focused on it (probably a combination of the three), making each day feel more hopeful.

Life after surgery is HARD, and I am finding that things take so much more time and exertion. However, it is also wonderful to find beauty in the little things that I do end up accomplishing. I wanted to share 10 milestones that I am personally grateful for achieving thus far:

  1. My first 2 PT sessions have been great. It feels good to exercise and challenge my body to regain its flexibility and strength again. At my first PT session, my AROM for my right leg was 53 degrees of flexion, and my extension was already nearly close to 0 degrees (I am hypermobile, however, so I still have some degrees left to go to achieve the same symmetry as my left leg). Since I am weight bearing as tolerated, I was able to complete some calf raises without the use of crutches (holding a bar, of course), and I was able to get such a good stretch in my calves that made me feel more confident with weight bearing with my crutches for ambulation.
  2. I took a total of 3 showers, and the third shower was the most successful because I finally figured out how to maintain a comfortable enough position while sitting on my tub transfer bench. I was mostly able to complete it by myself (minus set up with my brace and compression sleeve).
  3. I started using the bathroom all by myself including the toilet transfer since day 4 post op and it was a huge success.
  4. I reinvented my gait belt to a leg lifter (shoutout my OT knowledge to make this adaptable), and now I can also get myself in and out of bed with the assistance of my gait belt.
  5. I was able to sit in a chair at the dining table semi comfortably for almost an hour while eating breakfast, though my leg was still mostly extended as I sat on the chair. However, I did not need any stool this time to prop my leg on it for additional comfort.
  6. I have weaned off most medications. No more oxy for me (prescribed of course, lol), whohoo! Ibuprofen is still in rotation though just in case.
  7. I was able to stand and bear some weight on my right side without crutches to complete tasks such as brushing my teeth, washing my face, and even assisting minimally to make simple meals with my mom.
  8. I can sleep on my back pretty comfortably with my leg elevated throughout most of the night. I am such a tummy sleeper that I was worried I was not gonna be able to get any sleep during this process. Surprisingly, I can fall asleep with almost no issues on my back!
  9. Pain has been pretty manageable after Day 1 of my surgery. I would say on an average since Day 2, it has been no more than a 5/10 even after PT sessions.
  10. I switched from wearing an ace wrap to wearing a compression sleeve under my hinge brace, and it feels SO much better and less restrictive overall.

Overall, week 1 has been a lot physically and emotionally. The hardest part is just realizing how taxing ‘simple’ tasks such as going to the bathroom, taking a shower, and moving around the house is. However, I could not have made it through this first week without some of my biggest support systems such as my fiancé, my mom, and my roommates. They have been extremely all hands on deck, making the first few days of surgery way more seamless and less impossible. From making meals and refilling my ice machine to lifting my swollen leg, managing my medication, and even tucking me in at night — every little act made my heart so full and reminded me how loved and supported I am. I am also so incredibly grateful for all the other people who have checked in on me and have sent encouraging words, thoughts, prayers, care packages, and food! I feel all the warmth and love, and without the support of everyone in my life who is so special to me, recovery would have gone differently emotionally and mentally.

Week 1 is just the very beginning of a long journey ahead. I know there will be a LOT of bumps throughout the road, as progress is never linear. I tell this to my patients all the time, so I must also understand what I preach lol. Nevertheless, I feel much more resilient than I did before my surgery already, and I am looking forward to continuing my path of resilience and becoming stronger in every aspect of my well-being.

Thanks for tuning into the blog, and be on the lookout for my next update for week 2 recovery! 🙂 Shoutout to the ACL warriors out there who are doing their best every day to be better and better!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in ACL recovery

My ACL Injury: Origin Story

Hello, Renrenspeakers! It has been a while since I’ve hopped on the blog, and let me just tell ya — life has been LIFING! I have some more exciting life updates to share later, but I thought I would give yall an update on what has been going on with me health-wise these last two months.

On May 3rd, what I thought was going to be a fun opportunity to elevate my athletic skills turned into a life-altering moment. Here’s the back story. I had decided to join a recreational soccer league with my now fiancé and my friends after supporting them during previous seasons by being their best cheerleader, haha. As I am getting older, I want to keep my athleticism up as preventative measures for health. My fiancé and my friends even made it a point to start soccer agility training just so that we could feel somewhat conditioned for the new season. Mind you, I have never played soccer in my life for real. The extent of my soccer experience has been kicking the ball around during PE. Thus, in addition to my power walks, dance classes, and gym, I was excited to add soccer to my athletic repertoire.

I survived our first soccer game of the season (all I knew was that I was to be a defender lol) and though my endurance was shot, I thought I did pretty well for my first game. For the second game, I ended up assuming more of the position of offense. I found myself even attempting to score a goal, which was very exciting! About 10 minutes into the game, the soccer ball came towards me, and I extended my right leg, attempting to kick the soccer ball. At the same time, a girl from the opposing team ended up kicking my knee out laterally, and I remember instantly falling to the ground and feeling instant, debilitating pain. I was kicked so hard in the knee that I had to be carried out by my friend and my now fiancé. I remember someone telling me to breath, but I could not even open my eyes — that is how much pain I was in. However, never suffering any kind of injury and honestly thinking I am lowkey invincible since I’m relatively young and active, tearing any kind of ligament was the last thing that my mind went to. I encouraged my fiancé to finish the soccer game and that I would just tough it out until the end as I sat on the bench with the most amount of discomfort. Mind you, I was in excruciating pain the entirety of that game and could only limp, but I didn’t want to be a debbie downer. I ended up limping the rest of the day even after I came home.

Since my soccer team is primarily made up of OTs and PTs, I thankfully had a PT who quickly assessed my leg and gave me some comfort that it is most likely only a sprain, especially since I didn’t feel an immediate pop or have immediate swelling at the time of injury. As an OT myself, I recommend the RICE method for pain relief and decreased swelling for patients all the time. So that is what I did – rested, iced, compressed, and elevated the entire night. I was unable to bear my full weight on my right leg, however, and my range of motion became very limited that day. I ended up noticing increased swelling at my knee as well hours after initial onset. That Sunday evening, I ended up calling off from work because I legitimately could not walk well enough to work.

Now it is the next day, Monday, and I wake up to my knee still swollen (actually it looked worse than yesterday). The wellness freak in me immediately became very anxious, and my kind fiancé ended up driving me down later to the nearest orthopedic clinic to get my knee checked out as requested. I am still limping at this time, but my gait was a bit better than the previous day. Definitely not well enough to drive, however. I am very grateful I was able to quickly make an appointment with an orthopedic healthcare provider, and he ordered a STAT MRI just to rule out any structural damage after conducting a quick assessment of my leg. I am a woman of action, so I immediately got an MRI scheduled for the following day. Again, this entire time I was thinking that my knee was probably just sprained really bad, so when he said “structural damage” that was the first time I ever thought to myself that this could be a more serious injury. Nevertheless, the ACL was the LAST thing I ever would have imagined.

It is now Tuesday, 2 days post my unknown ACL injury at the time, and I get my MRI. By this time, I am still limping, but it is much less noticeable than it was on Sunday and Monday. I even tell work that I am walking well enough to return back to work the next day. This was my first time ever having an MRI, so the process itself was pretty daunting. However, everything went smoothy despite having to pay a way larger amount for the test than was anticipated (that is a whole other conversation). They tell me that I will hear back in 3-5 business days to hear back from imaging for the interpretation of my results.

Wednesday rolls around, my leg is not nearly as swollen anymore, and my limp is virtually gone. I am even back at work! Though, my knee still feels… off. My ROM is limited, especially with flexion, I can’t squat the way I used to, and my leg is very fatigued after standing for extended periods of time. In hindsight, I definitely should have taken the day off but at this rate I am still very delusional thinking that I probably will have just a knee sprain. I even have another PT do a quick assessment of my knee, and in his conclusion, the worse case scenario based on how well my knee was moving was that there could be meniscus damage. Feeling mostly normal and being able to push through the discomfort gave me a false sense of confidence that nothing could ever be really wrong with my knee. I end up receiving a call from my original orthopedic care providers saying that they would like to schedule an appointment to go over my MRI results, and me, not even thinking too deeply asked if they could just tell me over the phone. I was on go go go mode, and the last thing I didn’t have “time” for was to go to the doctor’s office to discuss my health results outside of my work day. However, I ended up making it work and scheduled an appointment for Thursday.

That same day, I routinely call my boyfriend at the time to tell him about the nonsense of my typical work day. I am at home now, and I distinctly remember that I could actually look at my MRI results on my patient portal. I even was trying to look at my results at work earlier, but I did not remember my credentials (thank GOD now looking back because that would have been a nightmare to find out at work). I tell him, “Let me just look right now”, not super nervous about the news that was to come. Then, I read out loud the results, and the first thing I see is something to the effect of: complete tear of the anterior cruciate ligament. I read it and did not really process what that meant at first, and then I heard him say, “oh no…” and immediately my jaw is on the floor because it just clicked in my head that it was the ACL! I think I am completely in shock at this moment that I end up telling my boyfriend at the time that maybe it is a rare instance where they get the patients mixed up and it is actually not my results, lol (healthcare isn’t perfect, by the way). Once I get off the phone, I immediately start bawling and I am just overcome with anger that this is happening to me. I still held off a tiny bit of hope that it could be an error and that I would wait until Thursday to find out from the doctor himself.

It is now Thursday, and I am 4 days post injury anxiously waiting for my doctor’s appointment. My coworkers tell me that it is going to be okay and they are sure it is nothing serious, but that night I could not sleep because of COURSE I immediately go to Google and google everything and anything about ACL injuries, including recovery timeline, surgery options, and long-term affects with deciding to go a more conservative route. It is too much for my brain to take, so I just smile and chug through the day pretending that I am completely oblivious to the devastating news that I would later hear in person at my appointment.

I am now at the doctor’s office later that afternoon, and immediately when the doctor comes in to discuss my MRI results with me, the first question out of his mouth is “Have you heard of an ACL injury before?” In that moment, my last glimpse of hope about this whole scenario potentially being the wrong patient chart is completely shattered, and I nod, “Yes, I already saw the results.” It took every ounce within me to not break down sobbing in his office due to the sheer disappointment and fear of what was to come. My doctor went over surgery options, healing timelines, out of work accommodations, and a whole bunch of other topics that I honestly kind of blacked out on due to feelings of being overwhelmed and in disbelief that this was really happening to me. He was able to schedule me to meet with a surgeon that specializes in ACL reconstruction to see if surgery was the option that I wanted to go (though it was highly recommended, as this was a complete tear that I had). As I booked my appointment with the front desk before I left the office for the day, I remember her just telling me, “I am so sorry.” I think at that point, all the tears I held back the entire day just started to surface, and before I even left the building, I started sobbing. First thing I did was call my boyfriend and started sobbing for probably a good 20 minutes straight. It was a cathartic cry, not gonna lie. That was one moment in my life I felt so low and that I hit rock bottom because something that was supposed to be super fun and exciting and just keep me active quickly became a physical, emotional, mental, and financial strain on my life in the least expected way. I repeatedly asked God “why me?” and just sat with that for days. Not only the physical pain of not being able to engage in sports the way that I once did, but even simple things like criss crossing, squatting, driving, and sitting on the floor became so difficult. I felt like a large part of my independence was instantly taken away from me. People all around me would say things like “you are so strong” and “I can’t believe how well you are walking on your knee injury”, but internally, I felt so broken and so frustrated with my body.

To top it all off, life doesn’t stop for you just because YOU have something catastrophic going on in life. I had to navigate seeking financial assistance/protection of my job as a new employee at my work, surgery options, continuous doctor’s visits and follow ups, student loan repayment modifications, and physical therapy post op care all while going to work and having to provide my best quality care to my patients. Some days I felt like I was there but not present, which is never a good thing when you are at your wits end but still have to show up for other people. The last two months were SO hard in every way I could imagine. But I am a big believer that no matter how insane or difficult a situation is in life, God doesn’t throw us situations that we cannot handle. Thus, I had to find some meaning as to why this particular incident happened to me.

I feel like what was revealed to me over these past two months of navigating this season of my ACL pre-op was that I needed to choose and prioritize rest, and that if I neglected resting, it would choose me eventually. I made it a point this year to up my financial bag, killing it with finding a new job to maximize my income all while PRNing at another facility every other weekend. In that process, I was giving a lot of my time to work so that I could reach my financial goals faster. However, I felt like a zombie so many times throughout the process, dreading a 6th consecutive day of work more often than not, and never felt refreshed during the little weekend I did have. I think I reached a point of burnout, which is always a huge indicator that something’s gotta change. I wasn’t quick enough to make this change, so in many ways, maybe this incident was literally a physical sign that I have to reprioritize other aspects of my life that give me more joy than working for a paycheck to reach some arbitrary financial milestones.

I am now 4 days post ACL surgery, and recovery has mostly been smooth physically. I will be sharing my post-op journey in a later post, but I just wanted to share with yall my ACL injury story. It is a deeply emotional event that has quickly humbled me and has changed me already in so many ways that I was not expecting. As inconvenient as I might think it is, I look forward to relearning about my body and trusting it again. I believe that this injury has already made me so much more resilient, stronger, and a better advocate for my needs. Any ACLers – we are a fighters and we will get through this!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in lifestyle

Five Years of Renrenspeaks – End of 2025 Recap 

Hello, Renrenspeakers! Happy end of the year! Can you believe that we have made it to the end of 2025? I simply cannot. Today marks the FIFTH anniversary of Renrenspeaks. I started this blog during the height of the pandemic, and to say that it is half a decade old already is just mind blowing. As yall may have noticed, I unintentionally took a year hiatus from my blog. I apologize for this! It has been a crazy, whirlwind of a year, but it is so good to get back in touch with you all.

This year has been one filled with so many emotions and life altering events. I’ve experienced significant changes, invoking sadness, joy, laughs, hurt, worry, and peace. Truthfully, the first few months of the year were tough mentally and emotionally. In January, I had to abruptly move to a new home in which I was not mentally nor financially prepared to do so. In February, one of my childhood friends suddenly passed away. This was the first time I experienced the loss of someone close to me. And in March, I felt overall job pressures, imposter syndrome, and burnout take a toll on my overall mental health. It felt like one event after another event tested my resilience. However, turning to my support systems, prioritizing self-care, and finding impactful coping skills really helped with processing the first few months of grief and uncertainty.

Fast forward to the second half of the year, I felt much better holistically. I was able to travel back home more often and spend more time with loved ones. As I get older, I am so appreciative of the roots that I have and how they’ve shaped me to be the person I am today. I witnessed beautiful engagements and unions of love, celebrated family gatherings, and saw people from many different chapters of my life that were pivotal in different time periods of my life.

I was also able to complete four out of five of my financial goals for this year! This year, I really focused on growing my financial literacy and hitting financial goals since this was the first year of starting my career. I have a HEFTY amount of student loans (shoutout six-figure debt club), and I’ve been able to pay $30,000 of it back so far. I feel incredibly blessed that I have been able to achieve such a feat, as having six-figure debt takes a toll on you mentally, financially and emotionally. I am very proud of the mindset shift that I obtained during this year when it comes to finances. Having such a large amount of debt felt embarrassing to talk about and share. Moreover, it felt extremely isolating especially when it can feel like other people are ahead financially. However, it taught me SO much discipline and patience in the process. I’ve picked up another job per diem to help achieve these financial goals, and I am very blessed and privileged to be able to have the stamina and drive to do it. I pray for and claim financial freedom hopefully by my mid-30s. I do believe it is possible for myself, as hard as the daily grind is. 

Going into 2026 will be an interesting year. I think it will be a time of great reflection and mourning to some capacity, as it will be my last year of my 20s– I CAN’T believe it! Some of my personal goals for next year are to continue expanding my financial literacy, pay these loans DOWN even more, pivot settings as an occupational therapist, prioritize sleep and fitness, and tap into my previous hobbies prior to graduate school. I also want to be more present on my blog, even if it is quarterly check-ins! Despite those goals, I really have no specific expectations for 2026. All I hope and pray for is that it is one of joy, growth, safety, and good health. I am thankful for another year of life, especially after witnessing first-hand how short life can be. 

We are that much closer to the next decade of the century. I am wishing everyone a happy new year! 

Peace and love,

Irene 

*In remembrance of Sarah. My sweet friend, you may not be here on this physical earth with us anymore, but you remain in my heart forever. I know you are made whole in heaven. Your spirit shines bright still, and you’ve changed so many lives around you with your testimony. ❤ 

Posted on in lifestyle

Celebrating Four Years of Renrenspeaks: A Journey Through 2024

Hello, Renrenspeakers! Happy end of the year! Can you believe it – we are wrapping up the end of 2024 and heading into 2025. This time tomorrow, we will officially be halfway between 2020 and 2030.

First, I thank God that I made it through the year to even write this post. Life is truly a blessing. One thing that has really hit me recently is that our days are numbered and are finite. I hope and pray for continuous longevity and covering over my life and the lives of others, God willing.  

Also, HAPPY FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF RENRENSPEAKS.COM! Technically, it was yesterday (I am a day late!). This time 4 years ago I launched my blog. This has been a wonderful documentation of my life’s reflections. I can see as this blog progresses how much support and growth I have had in my communities throughout the years. Give ya girl some love to celebrate the anniversary!

It definitely has been some time since I last caught up with yall. This post is not focused on any one particular topic. I am here to simply share some of my reflections throughout the year and wrap up with some lessons I learned in 2024!

This year has been one of many ups and downs for me. It has been a HUGE year for me, as I have had many life changes, time to reflect, and growing pains/triumphs. Emotionally, I feel like I have been all over the place. I had some hard conversations and hard realizations that honestly made me so unsure of myself and my various identities at various points of the year. However, through those emotional hardships, I believe have blossomed into a stronger individual who can set boundaries, advocate for her needs, and create space for myself. And for that, I am really proud of myself.

Some highlights of 2024 that I have been blessed to experience include some, but not all, of the following:

  • Moving to a new home in a wonderful city central to many sights to see
  • Going to concerts and being outside more often
  • Cultivating a beautiful relationship with refugees/asylum-seekers through my capstone
  • Attending my first OT national conference
  • Graduating from OT school and becoming a Doctor of Occupational Therapy
  • Passing my NBCOT exam
  • My graduation party
  • Traveling around the country (Miami, Orlando, Philly) and internationally via my first cruise (Mexico, Honduras)
  • Attending a weekly Pyro Pilates class and sticking to it
  • Starting my first big girl job as an official OT
  • Building and rebuilding community collectively  

Going into 2025, I honestly do not know what the year holds for me. I am hoping that it is one of continuous growth, as always, in all aspects of my life – spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, professionally, socially, financially – and the list goes on! This will be the first year of my life that I do not hold the “student” identity, so discovering what my next life goals will be shall be an interesting journey, to say the least.

I hope to be generally more positive and have more faith in God for my purpose in life. I think I realized that many times in 2024, I was not truly operating out of faith and positivity, but rather constant fear and worry. As a result, anxiety and a lack of confidence crippled me at various times throughout the year. I want to be better in knowing that I always have God on my side to help me through life and encourage me because as we know, life be LIFING! I am not the only one who is feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders through responsibilities such as student loans, for example (and mind you, mine are a hefty one). I’ve learned that after persevering through my stressors, things always end up being more okay than I thought they would. I probably should channel more Type B energy so that I can live my life well-balanced instead of chronically stressing over little aspects that just may not be that serious at the end of the day.

I am also hoping to be more present on this blog, as it is something that I started during the height of the pandemic as a digital diary. I hope to create more mini blog series, highlighting various stories and life experiences of my peers, colleagues, and loved ones. It helps me stay connected with the world around me.

Thank you to everyone who continues to support me and love on me, whether it is through good vibes, prayers, social media networking, in-person quality time, etc. I am incredibly grateful for another year of life, and cheers to what the next year has in store for us! Happy New Year, everyone!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in occupational therapy

Three Weeks Down as a Pediatric Occupational Therapist!

Hello Renrenspeakers! How is everyone doing? Long time, no type! I am so glad that the weather has FINALLY cooled off. I have returned my fuzzy socks and sweats as my go-to loungewear. I am about three weeks in as an official OTR/L in an outpatient pediatric clinic with some home health. So far, it has been such a wonderful experience! Lemme update yall on my journey as a new grad thus far.

As a new grad OT, there is a huge learning curve in general. I am constantly consulting other peds OTs I know and look up to, handy dandy Google/ChatGPT, and my old notes/resources from my fieldwork experience and school to refresh my mind on things that I am less familiar with or need additional information on. Heck, the other day, I even pulled out my TherapyEd book I used briefly to study for the NBCOT to verify various developmental milestones and primitive reflexes. Either I blacked it out, but I don’t remember studying as frequently – or might I rephrase, as diligently – when I was in school. I think that I am more willing to seek out this information because first, my license is on the line; and second, I am so new to this, so I want to be the best therapist I can be! I actually do enjoy researching things and discovering how I can spice up my sessions, apply the knowledge that I learn to my tool kit, and educate parents and caregivers for increased carryover (via HEPs, education, etc).

I know my mind is young and fresh, but here are some of the reasons I enjoy the pediatric population thus far:

  1. I always have a story I can recall at the end of the day. My clients say and do the funniest, cutest, and interesting things. I recently had a client who was eating cherry tomatoes for her snack, and she had some remaining juice on her fingers. I laid my jacket down on my chair prior to session starting, and out of nowhere, I saw her walk up to my jacket to wipe her fingers like she would do if she were using a napkin, lol.
  2. I get to be in touch with the youth and channel my inner kid. There are so many things I have discovered that kids like these days, like Ms. Rachel. I also felt super cool working with a client who liked Roblox because I know exactly what that is and could converse about it (shoutout to my little sister, Claudine, for the exposure lol).
  3. I can do a ton of arts and crafts – and they are used therapeutically! First, arts and crafts are my thing. Plus, they can target so many performance areas such as fine motor skills, sensory (tactile), bilateral coordination – the list goes on and on! So far, I have enjoyed finding themed printables or even just creating templates on my iPad and printing them out to use in sessions. I can also upgrade/downgrade them to my discretion. For instance, I can cut pieces of a craft out and have the child bear crawl to them, picking them up 1 by 1 all over the room to also target gross motor skills or any other skills they are working on.
  4. Each client is so different from the next. The variability of clients allow me to get to know many different personalities and learn how to navigate hardships I come across more effectively.
  5. I am constantly on my toes. I never know how the day is going to go as much as I may plan for it, truthfully. Of course, I always hope for a positive, productive session. However, sometimes my clients just might not be feeling an activity as much as I am. I have to be flexible and adaptable so that I am also meeting the client’s needs. This is a skill I am definitely growing in, but knowing that I constantly have to modify my creativity forces me to learn, and therefore, grow as a clinician.

I am thankful that I have a great work environment that supports me and accommodates my needs well. I hear many new grad first job horror stories, and I hate that for us because we are just trying to learn and be our best selves in this new life transition.

The hardest transition for me honestly has been getting used to being an OT. When I first started, I was very anxious because I just did not know what to expect. I had many worries – What is my kids don’t like me? What if my clients and I don’t connect? What is the right way to do therapy? First, there is no right way to do therapy, because everyone’s style is different! Of course, some days are harder than others, but I have to remember to give myself grace. I am three weeks in, NOT 30 years in. And no matter where I am in my years of experience, I will always have room to grow and improve. That is what striving to be a great clinician is all about – recognizing what you don’t know and addressing those gaps. I’ve learned so far that it is okay and even encouraged to ask for help! As much as I try to figure things out on my own, there are going to be so many things that I merely do not know. Again – that is OKAY! I am new to this life! After all, clinicians always say that it took them a year before they finally started really feeling confident and comfortable in what they were doing, so I still have 49 weeks to get there, haha. Fieldwork was a good way to get my feet wet, but that was only the foundation. I get to constantly add to my foundation as a life-long learner. I try to stay grounded as a new grad OT by continuously giving myself grace because again – I am new! I can mess up, I will make mistakes, I will learn from them, and I will grow because of that. Being a peds OT has required me to quickly adopt a Type B personality – one that is more relaxed, easygoing, and flexible when needed.

One thing I noticed that is so easy to fall prey to is going to the store and being tempted to buy anything that I can use for my session, lol. Yesterday, I went to the Dollar Tree and found a TON of items that I could use with my clients to target their goals (shoutout the Dollar Tree for inexpensive stuff, though I do have to side eye a little bit because everything was really marked $1.25. Inflation I guess). My next destination is Goodwill, haha. Currently, there are multiple go-to games stashed away in my car that I did not even touch until starting my job, and I believe that this list will continue to grow at the rate I’m going. I also have a Peds wishlist on Amazon and a growing checklist on my Notes app. Sometimes, it is hard to resist buying new items that my clients might enjoy or benefit from (so help me out with this, fellow peds OTs lol).

The largest downside I’ve faced so far – the getting sick part, eh, not my favorite. I am currently recovering from a bad cold – ah, the joys of working with kids, lol. I remember when I did my first fieldwork at an outpatient peds clinic. I literally lasted 2 weeks, and then BAM. I got COVID for the first time. I was out all week. My immune system is not up to par yet, but I know I will have a beast immune system in no time. 😉 I guess I’ll have to stock up on my vitamins extra hard to try to avoid being sick at all costs.

On my to do list is to continue researching, taking CEUs on my weaker knowledge areas (ex. sensory integration), and honestly just striving to do the best that I can do every day. I also want to work on work-life balance. I want to improve my documentation efficiency, as I notice that I can be a little long-winded when it comes to notes (I blog after all, so writing is inherently a part of my personality trait, lol). If yall have advice or an example of the most efficient notes you’ve written that you’d like to share with me (respect HIPAA, obviously), I am all here for it. 🙂

Thanks for riding this journey with me thus far!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in new grad, occupational therapy, occupational therapy practitioner

New Grad Season – What a WEIRD Place to Be In!

Hello, Renrenspeakers! I hope all is well with you. Happy October – spooky season is upon us! I don’t know about you all, but I am so ready to watch some Halloween DCOMs this month!

Let me catch y’all up to speed with my life as of late since completely shedding the remains of my “student” identity. My entire month of August was a really fun one! I felt so blessed. I traveled home to San Diego, my hometown, and visited family and friends for a little bit. I also had a delayed but wonderful grad party to celebrate finishing OT school and passing my exam. Then, I flew to Miami for the first time and reconnected with my lovely college girl gang for a few days. And to top it all off, at the end of August, I was blessed to go on a very relaxing, peaceful, much needed vacation via a cruise sailing around the Caribbean sea! It was one of the best trips of my life (shout out to my partner for making it all happen <3). I am officially a cruise advocate now! I wish I could travel forever!

As amazing and necessary as vacation was, after coming back to AZ, reality hit me like a brick. I officially processed that I am now in my new grad season – what a weird place to be in! My entire September has consisted of a whirlwind of emotions. I think these emotions were suppressed because after taking my exam, all I could focus on was how much fun August was going to be at the time. Not going to lie, September has been simultaneously anxiety-inducing, reflective, and introspective. I was super blessed to have a job lined up for me even before taking my board exams, so the process of applying to jobs was one less stressor I did not have to worry about (side note – the power of networking is tremendous. Word of advice? Hold on tight to those connections you make throughout life because this is exactly how I was able to land my first job!). However, when there is a drastic shift from constantly studying, writing papers, and just trying to survive grad school to now having no routine, nothing pressing to do, and no money, I found myself having a LOT of time to think and even ruminate on my future (maybe too much time, honestly). School did not warn me adequately about the many emotions and feelings that come with this new grad season.

The more and more I waited around, the more my nerves started to kick in about EVERYTHING. Perhaps this is the beginning of imposter syndrome creeping up. It is a genuine feeling of wondering if you know enough, are qualified for the job, and are ready to be your own boss. Though I have had extensive training in OT, it is still a feeling that is hard to shake off completely.

What I really think augmented my worries about starting this next chapter of my life is the fear of the unknown, and the realization that I am really now a full-blown adult. I now have to think about and strategically plan for all of the other responsibilities that come with growing up – finding the best health insurance plan for myself, rent, car payments, investing in a 401k and other retirement accounts, maintaining relationships, the list goes on and on. Oh, not to mention the dreaded massive student loan debt I have (and am still slowly coming to terms with). There is no best answer to what I SHOULD do because everyone’s situation is so different. As a student, these were aspects of adulting that I knew were ahead of me. Yet, they were still a pretty abstract concept because I did not have to tackle these things head on. Now, I think about the rising cost of living and overall responsibilities. Sometimes, it makes me spiral worrying about whether or not I will actually be able to afford to live comfortably and merely enjoy life because that is something I really do value. I don’t want to look back 20 years from now and realize that I am continuously in a situation in which I am just going through the motions of life and slowly losing myself and my values because of the overall stressors of adulthood.

Truthfully, September was hard mentally and emotionally for me because I realized that to me, change is scary. It is much harder for me to embrace change than I initially thought. There are so many moving parts and components about change that a person just simply cannot fully control. For some time, I really just felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, and it made me feel like I had to have everything figured out – especially being a Type A girlie like myself.

Now that October is here, I’ve done a lot of processing of my emotions, and it has launched a catalyst for me to seek a complete mindset shift. Me constantly stressing about the future, especially when everyone goes through some kind of trial or tribulation period in their life, was not making me feel better about myself – just worse. Relying on the strength of merely myself clearly wasn’t cutting it, and it never will be enough. BUT stepping into faith and casting my anxiety and worries with God helped me to start developing an inner strength to work through these feelings of exasperation and negativity I was battling. Of course, it is still very much a work in progress, but remembering to keep my faith in all that I do has helped keep me grounded and not completely go off the deep end. Giving myself grace has been so important because I am just simply trying to do my best. I also have to remember that I am not the only one in the world going through this major life transition!

So, how am I taking care of myself and working on my mindset shift as I transition to this next stage of life? The single best thing that I have prioritized to keep my sanity is going on my daily walks! My mom and I used to power walk frequently growing up, and it is a practice that I am very grateful she instilled in me. Honestly, the gym is not my go-to choice of fitness, so I knew that wouldn’t be the way I better myself physically. The weather is still blazing hot (100º+, to be exact), but I refuse to let the hot sun prevent me from staying on my fitness journey! I’ve made it a point to exercise early before peak heat, and it has given me some kind of routine to adhere to. I have upped my daily power walks to 4 miles a day first thing in the morning, and it has helped me a ton with providing clarity and practicing gratitude. This is also a time where I listen to my cherished podcasts to work on bettering myself. I also opened a library card to get back into my reading era, as well as bought a coloring book! Of course, I am still consistent with juicing, so that has been fun and tasty. Additionally, I started to journal again. Not frequently as of late, but I made it a point to keep a regular journal and a gratitude journal. I think I like my gratitude journal much more because even if I am feeling overwhelmed and down, I try to name at least one thing in my life that I am currently happy with and grateful for. I, like most people, find it super easy to fixate on the negative aspects of life, even if they are very few, rather than the numerous, wonderful positive aspects of life that I should strive to focus on.

As of right now, I am (still) patiently waiting for my license to come in, which is the last step I have to achieve before being able to finally practice. By the way, I will be starting off my career in outpatient pediatrics if I have not mentioned that already, whoohoo! Additionally, I have also been trying to increase my financial literacy like crazy while I do have this time so that I am not completely blind-sighted by all of the additional financial responsibilities to come. Even though I consider myself to be a novice in the financial world, I am very proud of myself for finally starting to understand things such as a Roth IRA, a high yields savings account, and even the differences between all the student loan repayment plans. These little action steps are great and should be celebrated because it brings me one step closer to financial peace and freedom. Eventually, I will do a whole finance post because I have a lot to say about the student debt crisis, lol.

I primarily wrote this post as a reminder to myself that everything will be OKAY and will work out! This is a shared experience that I know happens to many people, especially young new professionals who have sacrificed other life opportunities such as traveling, working, etc. to pursue grad school in hopes of fulfilling their own professional ambitions.

I am a new OT grad, so any tips and advice on navigating this new grad season and feeling more confident about starting adulthood (for real this time) as a young professional are SO invited. Thanks for allowing me to be vulnerable within this space today, Renrenspeakers! 🙂

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in occupational therapy

It is Done! From OT Student to Officially Becoming an OTR – Reflections on Passing the NBCOT Exam

Hello Renrenspeakers! I am feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! I have amazing news to share. After 9 days of some grueling waiting, I found out that I passed the last, huge hurdle to becoming an OT – the NBCOT board exam, whoohoo! Last Wednesday at 7 am, I begrudgingly opened my computer and nervously logged into my account, just to be pleasantly gifted with the words, Welcome, Irene! and saw my certification status as ACTIVE. I immediately began bawling and praising God for this achievement, because I can tell yall that I literally had no idea how to feel about the exam that I took. I ran upstairs, woke everyone up with my excitement, and cried with joy alongside my family. I am so thankful I had the support of my family to be with me regardless of the outcomes, but boy was I thrilled to not have to ever think about repeating the exam ever again. Let me take yall through my pre-NBCOT and post-NBCOT experience because I think I learned a lot about myself throughout these vigorous few weeks of intense studying. It required a LOT of introspection and self-reflection to make it to the other side. I have a ton to share about this experience, so brace yourselves.

Graduation is such a beautiful and fun time to celebrate the wonderful achievement of being done with school and obtaining a degree that I longed to achieve for so long. However, I quickly had to shift my focus on prepping my mind for the last hurdle – the NBCOT exam. As we know, standardized tests are never fun and easy because half of it is about knowing the content, and half of it is about knowing how to take the exam. I like to consider myself an average standardized test taker – not the best, not the worst. However, being a Type A girlie like myself (I know, it is something I need to work on), I wanted to ensure that I used my last brain cells to give my all to the NBCOT exam. To me, that meant making sure that I aimed to overstudy rather than understudy. The exam itself is daunting because it is a 180 question test with an allotted time of 4 hours to complete it. Thus, test takers must read diligently and swiftly to ensure that they finish the test. This is a lot to do, especially when still coming off the high of graduation!

So, what did I do to prepare for the NBCOT exam? I kick started my pre-NBCOT exam period by first taking a week long break after graduating before starting up my studying because I was SO mentally tired. I took this week to lounge around and find comfort in doing absolutely nothing. I was able to do this for about 75% of the week, not gonna lie. Yes, I know I said I needed to give myself a week off, but I guess I was itching to start studying so I could just get the test over with sooner rather than later and move onto bigger and better things. During my “week” off, I did start to reach out to friends I knew who passed their exams relatively recently to get a gage for how they went about bracing themselves for studying. I also did a lot of Googling and joining Facebook groups to compare and contrast the best study materials that would equip me for successful study sessions. Man, there is a LOT of material out there, so the choices were overwhelming. Pro-tip for current OT students out there – save about a good cushion of $800 – $1000 after graduation to pay for the cost of the exam itself, possible study materials, AND the licensing process because I was very surprised to see how expensive study materials became.

The Saturday after graduation, I attempted to get into the studying mindset by taking my first TherapyEd practice exam without any prior preparation and got a 53%. My initial goal was to get a 50% to see where I was at content-wise, so I was rather pleased with reaching my benchmark lol. I heard from many people that TherapyEd is very difficult, and as long as I scored around the 60% range I would be good, so this checked out for me haha. With that, I created a study schedule via Google Docs that broke down my day and content that I wanted to review each week. Before creating my schedule, at the top of my document, I wrote down an affirmation to refer back to that I knew I was going to need as the weeks went by. It stated, You are a DOCTOR so you can do anything! Just focus, concentrate, and be confident. Take this studying as a fun time! Now truthfully looking back – did I refer to my affirmation frequently? Unfortunately, no. Was studying fun? Nah, not really lol. BUT when I wrote it at the time, it did help me reframe my mindset going into this exam. I refused to see it as this catastrophic event that was waiting to happen, but instead as one last step to getting closer to finally becoming an OT. After I typed out the sentence, I included three links from my fav, OT Miri about inspiring/motivating passing stories from other people who’ve taken the NBCOT once, twice, or multiple times. Reading these stories and reflecting on their advice actually helped to take away nerves and worries that began to creep up going into my pre-NBCOT study period.

After setting a skeletal outline of my study plan, I ended up deciding to dedicate about 6 weeks of full-time studying. I aimed for about 6, sometimes 7 hours a day of diligent studying for 6 days a week. Sundays were STRICTLY no studying and a much needed self-care day. I did have a bit of an interruption in which I did some light traveling for a few days, but overall, my goal was to aim for 6 hours a day with rest breaks in between. At the beginning, I was overly ambitious and thought that I could do a timed practice test each week, but after doing three my first three weeks, I merely could not do it. I realized I was doing the absolute most haha. I did end up completing probably like five timed practice exams total throughout because I was worried that I would not be able to finish the real thing on time. The stamina that it takes to sit at a computer for 4 hours and train your brain is wild! Burnout was so real for me, as I felt like I was crashing and could not do it anymore during week 4 of my study schedule. I started to incorporate more prayer and listen to positive accounts of testing experiences to subside the worry and negative attitude that began to fester as I continued my pre-NBCOT study sessions. The local library and a local coffee shop became my second home, and I believe that this change of scenery helped me a ton because it was a new environment that was more stimulating. I also began to pick up my daily yoga stretches again to physically release the built-up tension that I realized was trapped in my body.

You might be wondering, what study materials did I end up using that helped me the most? I want to give several shoutouts to my faves lol. Big shoutout to AOTA Study Pack, Truelearn, OT Miri, OT Rex and OT Exam Prepper Podcast for being my favorite resources ever. I wished I discovered these during grad school, specifically the free resources. Also, honorable mention to my previously made study guides from grad school and random people’s Quizlets haha. And SPECIAL SHOUTOUT to my friend for passing along her Truelearn account to me for free because the dollars were starting to stack up!

I ended up spiraling my fifth week and decided to purchase the NBCOT study pack after I completed the AOTA study pack. I will be very honest – it was somewhat helpful for me personally even though there are no rationales for the exams, but it also was anxiety-inducing when I took my last practice exam. From the Facebook group threads that I read, people said that practicing with the NBCOT practice exams are a good resource (which they are, do not get me wrong) to see which domains you might be struggling with. I also read a LOT of threads saying that people’s NBCOT practice exams were similar to what they ended up scoring like on the real exam. With 5 days left to go, I said, “Alright, I got this!” That last practice exam was interesting for sure, but I believed that I did the best that I could do and used my clinical reasoning skills pretty wisely throughout. Now mind you, the minimum score to pass (both on the practice and the real exam) is 450, so that magic number was what I was waiting for. When I clicked “submit” and received my practice exam score, a 422 popped up on my screen. Now that was not what I wanted to see! I was overwhelmed with a sinking feeling of worry, desperation, and panic. I was rather upset to see that what I thought would be a score that reflected all the weeks of my meticulous studying was actually a score that seemingly showed that I was not ready for this exam. Of course my Type A self cried out of frustration and started to panic, especially since I found myself wandering to study prep Facebook groups and comparing my practice exam to what others were getting as a gage for their readiness for the real NBCOT. Now was this helpful? Absolutely not. I decided that it was time for me to hop off the Facebook groups, as it was only feeding my panic even more.

With 5 days left before the big day, of course I could not let the strength and stamina that I put into prepping for this exam become void by the 422 that tried to haunt me. I said, “Alright God, how are we gonna push past this and make sure this doesn’t happen again?” I ended up religiously using TrueLearn and did concentrated study sessions, completing about 5-10 practice questions at a time from each domain and topic that I was still struggling with. For some reason, when it gets close to the wire, the sudden motivation and drive comes full force. This was the single most helpful thing for me (besides listening to my free resources in the background when I could not stare at a screen any longer). With their bomb rationales, I almost felt like I unlocked a new skill of tapping into the mindset of the exam. I also listened to OT Miri’s motivational video, The Passing Mindset to reset my mind and go forth with these last few days with the upmost optimism.

Taking the exam was an experience for sure, yall. I will say, God was definitely with me throughout this time. My exam time was at 12 pm. Usually, I would have preferred an early start such as 8 am or 10 am. However, I believe that it all worked out because I got to take the morning to make a hearty breakfast, watch some of the Olympics, listen to More Than Able by Maverick City Music and The Best is Yet to Come by Donald Lawrence to get my mind right, and even do some light exercise on the treadmill. Luckily, I was 5 minutes away from the testing site, so I was able to do these things without feeling rushed. Asking God for peace and endurance throughout the exam helped me to center myself and know that I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. In my prayer, I also asked God to ensure that I just continue to trust myself and my clinical judgement as I took the exam because I can be a notorious second guesser! One thing I also did to declare that victory would be mine is that I took a video of myself before I left my house proclaiming that I would walk out of the exam as a new clinician and that all my hard work and dedication was going to pay off. Self-talk and recording myself has been something I’ve implemented every first day of grad school, so I said, why not do the same on my first day of unofficially becoming an OTR that I believe I will become?

Before I started my exam, I wrote down Irene the OTR and Jesus got me! at the top of my scratch paper to refer back to when I started to become tired or anxious. Like with any exam, there were questions that I felt certain about, and then there were questions I had no idea how to approach. Because I was losing steam, I started to second-guess myself toward the end of the exam, which made me a bit worried and distracted. However, I centered myself by referring to the top of my scratch paper again and taking a few deep, calming breaths to continue the stamina and pace I established. I finished with 10 minutes to spare, attempted to review my flagged questions, reviewed the first 5 flagged questions, changed one answer, and then decided that I was done and what I didn’t know then I still wouldn’t know now.

When I walked out of my exam, I went into my car, and of course, started to cry because I could finally let out all of the pent up emotion and stress that I had buried all these weeks to stay focused (I know, I am supposed to be in touch with my emotions but I personally had to compartmentalize my emotions to grind better). The cry felt so nice to release, yall. 50% of it was that I felt that the test could have gone either really well or really horribly (I had no idea how to feel about my performance), and 50% of it was pure relief that I was actually done and never had to do that again (hopefully). I was surrounded by such comfort and support from my loved ones afterward, which made me feel a lot better as the days went on.

The waiting game was definitely not fun, friends. 9 days of waiting around for a score is hard! Pro tip for future NBCOT test takers – take your exam as close to the scoring deadline as possible for your own peace of mind. The more days that passed, the less confident I felt with my performance and started thinking about all of the worse case scenarios. I started to ruminate on all the potential wrong answers instead of thinking about all the answers that I did know. Overall, I think I did pretty well with distracting myself post-NBCOT while waiting. It all worked out at the end because I got my desired results, thank God!

The biggest lesson that I learned about prepping and taking this exam is that it is all about mindset. The mind can be the biggest enemy and threat to your success because the way it will have you thinking self-limiting thoughts and beliefs and then manifest into worry, anxiety, etc. is really wild! Mental health is SO important, and I can admittedly say that sometimes I ignored it for the sake of raking in another hour of “content” that ended up just going out the other ear anyway. I also feel like prepping and taking the NBCOT exam was a true reflection of literally leaving it in God’s hand and trusting Him to lead the way (which He always comes through!) So remembering that God is with me even through difficult times was very comforting for me, which I really believe contributed greatly to the success of my NBCOT experience.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading! I had a lot to say, clearly, because I just wanna remind future NBCOT test takers that the key to success is to trust yourself! You do know a LOT more than you do, and your clinical judgement is there because you completed an entire grad program and graduated, right? And if you do need to take the exam again, it is not an indication of how smart you are or of the type of clinician that you will be. Regardless of how many times you take the exam, you WILL be a great clinician! I did get lucky and passed on my first attempt, but through even the experience of failing what I thought was the most important practice test 5 days before my real exam, I did not let that define my capabilities and undermine all the work and effort I put into prepping for my test. Practice occupational balance during your studies! Find something that is meaningful to you and stick to it, whether that is exercising, praying, talking with loved ones, drawing, or even watching TV (Love Island USA was my jam for rest breaks and my evenings off, lol). The NBCOT is hard for so many different reasons, BUT it can be done with the right tools, the right mindset, and the continuous self-reflection and confidence in yourself. Good luck to the future OTRs out there!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

Dr. Kwangaba, 100% Fully Loaded! OT School—Complete!

Hello, Renrenspeakers! I hope all is well! WOW, it has been such an eventful, accomplished month thus far. I am proud to announce that I have successfully completed my grad school journey. Allow me to reintroduce myself—Dr. Irene Kwangaba, the founder of Renrenspeaks, is here! I added new credentials to my name as of last Friday (OTD) because I am now a Doctor of Occupational Therapy, whoohoo!

So, how am I feeling about achieving this milestone in my life? The amount of excitement and gratitude that I have right now is unmatched. I was able to proudly cross off Graduate from OT School from my vision board the other day. My lovely family was in town to celebrate with me. They all witnessed me walk across the stage, receive my diploma, and get hooded. I felt an outpouring of support, love, and blessings from everyone who has directly and indirectly been following my grad school journey these past three years. I received screenshots and live updates of my commencement ceremony from my loved ones who could not physically be present with me, making it feel like a whole live event! The text messages, posts, phone calls, and gifts made this day even more special. Knowing that I set out a goal for myself since college, and then actually accomplishing it was so incredible. All glory be to God!

To me, having this degree is a testament to the dreams and values that my parents instilled in me. Yes, pursuing higher education is wonderful and all, but truly this opens doors for me to connect with all kinds of people and become the best therapist that I can be. It allows me to network with a diverse community of people using my newfound leadership skills and therapeutic use of self so that I can improve the lives of my future clients. I felt that my educational experience was even more enriched by the capstone process. I am forever grateful for the unique, authentic connections that I created through my capstone and will continue to nurture through the next stages of my life. I am also so happy to be a Congolese-American, Black OT breaking barriers and stigmas that we cannot achieve higher education successfully. Of course, the demographics will always illustrate that I am a minority in the profession. However, I hope to inspire future Black OTs and show them that we too can do it, and our place in the field is incredibly valuable and necessary.

With all that being said, I also cannot lie, friends—I don’t think it has really sunk in that I graduated to be quite honest. I am giving myself at least a one-week break to just BE and exist, which I truly deserve.

Now you are probably going to ask… what is next for me? In terms of the blog: Now that I am done with school, I hope to create more time to consistently catch up with yall and update you with other things happening in my life. There is a lot more to me than OT, friendly reminder! In terms of my next move in the world of OT: Well, even though I obtained my degree, I am not quite a working occupational therapist just yet. My next feat will be to study for my national board exam AND pass it (because I refuse to take it more than once), and then become licensed. Then I can add OTR/L to my email signature to make the OTD part more prominent and less lonely, lol. So, I still have quite the journey to go before I can start officially working. However, based on how quickly grad school flew by (for the most part), I know that it is only a matter of time before I step into this new era in my life—my career girlie era!

Thank you all so much for your endless love and support throughout this journey with me. Thank you to all my family, friends, mentors, peers, professors, and followers for always believing in me and rooting for me. Renrenspeakers, you all have had the inside scoop on my journey and life reflections this whole time. It is so cool to see how full circle this moment has become.

To wrap up my reflection, I have learned two major aspects about myself during grad school that I would like to share with yall. 1) I can do hard things, and 2) I have a lot to offer to this world (even when I don’t think I do). I hope that for future OT/grad school babes, these two gems ground and resonate with you and that you too can also receive this revelation during varying stages of your lives.

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

Graduation Season is HERE –Dr. Kwangaba, 95%(ish) Loaded!

Hello Renrenspeakers! Happy Saturday! How is everyone doing? It has definitely been a while since I’ve stopped by the blog. Let me tell yall, it has been a rollercoaster of a month. Why, you may ask? Because….. GRADUATION SZN IS UPON US! That is right, friends! I am graduating in TWO WEEKS (actually, 13 days to be exact). Hence, the 95%-ish fully loaded lol. I cannot believe how time has flownnnn by. I feel like I started grad school not too long ago, but I also feel like I have been here forever.

I am feeling alllllll kinds of emotions about graduating, to be honest! I am mostly excited because I finally get to shift into a new era of my life where I start my career and do what I have felt called to do for so long now. I am finally gonna shed the student identity forever and collect that bag! 😉 However, it is also so nerve-wracking because I have never done this career thing before! This will be my first big-girl job where I do not have to come back home and study for hours on end through a student lens. What am I going to do with my time outside of work? I guess I have the opportunity to tap back into my passions, which will be nice. I have a rough outline of the next steps after graduation, but I really don’t know when I will get all of the other pending requirements completed so that I can launch into my career girl era. There is not a clear answer for anything, which is hard to digest as a Type A girlie. It really is all in God’s hands. Any advice from new grads who faced my position just recently is so welcomed right about now!

Beyond being excited and nervous, I am really just so proud of myself. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I cannot believe that I did something as rigorous as grad school and completed it all in one piece (mostly, lol). I feel that I have had a shift in mindset, and I can witness the professional and personal growth that has taken place within me throughout these years. Being able to give back to the community through an OT lens has been fruitful, and I am sometimes think to myself, I really do kinda know what I am talking about, lol! I thoroughly enjoyed my capstone experience, for example, and I made so many beautiful growing and lasting connections through this experience. I FINALLY finished my capstone paper that I have been working on since my second year — it is submitted and out of the forefront of my mind! I don’t even want to tell yall how many total pages my paper is lol. I also completed my capstone presentation, and I am nearly done with my capstone poster. If yall are interested in learning more about my capstone project, you can watch my video presentation here.

Stay tuned for graduation content coming your way! I did some fun graduation pictures recently, which will drop on the ‘gram soon, so be on the lookout! I am beyond thankful for everyone who has supported me along the way. I literally could not have done it without the many influential, talented, and amazing wealth of support around me. This blog has also been such an archive of all of my greatest, lowest, challenging, and blessed moments in school. I am going to throw it back really quickly to my first blog post as a grad school here. Renrenspeaks.com has come a long way, and she is ever-evolving, just like I am.

Cheers to graduation season, and the next time you hear from me, I most likely will officially be Dr. Kwangaba, 100% FULLY LOADED!

Peace and love,

Irene