Category: graduate school

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

Dr. Kwangaba, 100% Fully Loaded! OT School—Complete!

Hello, Renrenspeakers! I hope all is well! WOW, it has been such an eventful, accomplished month thus far. I am proud to announce that I have successfully completed my grad school journey. Allow me to reintroduce myself—Dr. Irene Kwangaba, the founder of Renrenspeaks, is here! I added new credentials to my name as of last Friday (OTD) because I am now a Doctor of Occupational Therapy, whoohoo!

So, how am I feeling about achieving this milestone in my life? The amount of excitement and gratitude that I have right now is unmatched. I was able to proudly cross off Graduate from OT School from my vision board the other day. My lovely family was in town to celebrate with me. They all witnessed me walk across the stage, receive my diploma, and get hooded. I felt an outpouring of support, love, and blessings from everyone who has directly and indirectly been following my grad school journey these past three years. I received screenshots and live updates of my commencement ceremony from my loved ones who could not physically be present with me, making it feel like a whole live event! The text messages, posts, phone calls, and gifts made this day even more special. Knowing that I set out a goal for myself since college, and then actually accomplishing it was so incredible. All glory be to God!

To me, having this degree is a testament to the dreams and values that my parents instilled in me. Yes, pursuing higher education is wonderful and all, but truly this opens doors for me to connect with all kinds of people and become the best therapist that I can be. It allows me to network with a diverse community of people using my newfound leadership skills and therapeutic use of self so that I can improve the lives of my future clients. I felt that my educational experience was even more enriched by the capstone process. I am forever grateful for the unique, authentic connections that I created through my capstone and will continue to nurture through the next stages of my life. I am also so happy to be a Congolese-American, Black OT breaking barriers and stigmas that we cannot achieve higher education successfully. Of course, the demographics will always illustrate that I am a minority in the profession. However, I hope to inspire future Black OTs and show them that we too can do it, and our place in the field is incredibly valuable and necessary.

With all that being said, I also cannot lie, friends—I don’t think it has really sunk in that I graduated to be quite honest. I am giving myself at least a one-week break to just BE and exist, which I truly deserve.

Now you are probably going to ask… what is next for me? In terms of the blog: Now that I am done with school, I hope to create more time to consistently catch up with yall and update you with other things happening in my life. There is a lot more to me than OT, friendly reminder! In terms of my next move in the world of OT: Well, even though I obtained my degree, I am not quite a working occupational therapist just yet. My next feat will be to study for my national board exam AND pass it (because I refuse to take it more than once), and then become licensed. Then I can add OTR/L to my email signature to make the OTD part more prominent and less lonely, lol. So, I still have quite the journey to go before I can start officially working. However, based on how quickly grad school flew by (for the most part), I know that it is only a matter of time before I step into this new era in my life—my career girlie era!

Thank you all so much for your endless love and support throughout this journey with me. Thank you to all my family, friends, mentors, peers, professors, and followers for always believing in me and rooting for me. Renrenspeakers, you all have had the inside scoop on my journey and life reflections this whole time. It is so cool to see how full circle this moment has become.

To wrap up my reflection, I have learned two major aspects about myself during grad school that I would like to share with yall. 1) I can do hard things, and 2) I have a lot to offer to this world (even when I don’t think I do). I hope that for future OT/grad school babes, these two gems ground and resonate with you and that you too can also receive this revelation during varying stages of your lives.

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

Graduation Season is HERE –Dr. Kwangaba, 95%(ish) Loaded!

Hello Renrenspeakers! Happy Saturday! How is everyone doing? It has definitely been a while since I’ve stopped by the blog. Let me tell yall, it has been a rollercoaster of a month. Why, you may ask? Because….. GRADUATION SZN IS UPON US! That is right, friends! I am graduating in TWO WEEKS (actually, 13 days to be exact). Hence, the 95%-ish fully loaded lol. I cannot believe how time has flownnnn by. I feel like I started grad school not too long ago, but I also feel like I have been here forever.

I am feeling alllllll kinds of emotions about graduating, to be honest! I am mostly excited because I finally get to shift into a new era of my life where I start my career and do what I have felt called to do for so long now. I am finally gonna shed the student identity forever and collect that bag! 😉 However, it is also so nerve-wracking because I have never done this career thing before! This will be my first big-girl job where I do not have to come back home and study for hours on end through a student lens. What am I going to do with my time outside of work? I guess I have the opportunity to tap back into my passions, which will be nice. I have a rough outline of the next steps after graduation, but I really don’t know when I will get all of the other pending requirements completed so that I can launch into my career girl era. There is not a clear answer for anything, which is hard to digest as a Type A girlie. It really is all in God’s hands. Any advice from new grads who faced my position just recently is so welcomed right about now!

Beyond being excited and nervous, I am really just so proud of myself. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I cannot believe that I did something as rigorous as grad school and completed it all in one piece (mostly, lol). I feel that I have had a shift in mindset, and I can witness the professional and personal growth that has taken place within me throughout these years. Being able to give back to the community through an OT lens has been fruitful, and I am sometimes think to myself, I really do kinda know what I am talking about, lol! I thoroughly enjoyed my capstone experience, for example, and I made so many beautiful growing and lasting connections through this experience. I FINALLY finished my capstone paper that I have been working on since my second year — it is submitted and out of the forefront of my mind! I don’t even want to tell yall how many total pages my paper is lol. I also completed my capstone presentation, and I am nearly done with my capstone poster. If yall are interested in learning more about my capstone project, you can watch my video presentation here.

Stay tuned for graduation content coming your way! I did some fun graduation pictures recently, which will drop on the ‘gram soon, so be on the lookout! I am beyond thankful for everyone who has supported me along the way. I literally could not have done it without the many influential, talented, and amazing wealth of support around me. This blog has also been such an archive of all of my greatest, lowest, challenging, and blessed moments in school. I am going to throw it back really quickly to my first blog post as a grad school here. Renrenspeaks.com has come a long way, and she is ever-evolving, just like I am.

Cheers to graduation season, and the next time you hear from me, I most likely will officially be Dr. Kwangaba, 100% FULLY LOADED!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

Happy January – Stepping into my Late 20s and Last Semester of Grad School EVER!

Hello, Renrenspeakers! Happy Friday, Happy January, and Happy New Year! I hope all is well! Life so far has been treating me well overall, as with a new year comes a reset in values, mindset, ambition, and goals. I recently entered my LATE 20s – can yall believe that? Because I cannot! I still feel like a teenager sometimes, lol. My birthday was last week, and I had such a blessed time celebrating it with my loved ones and my family away from home here in AZ. I feel like I need to normalize celebrating ME more often, not just on my birthday, because I deserve it!

In addition to my birthday, I am excited to announce that I officially stepped into my LAST semester of graduate school EVER! Now can YALL believe that??? I feel like I have been in school forever, yet time has also flown by. It has been an interesting dichotomy. To conclude my final semester of graduate school, I have embarked on my doctoral capstone project. This experience thus far has been so rewarding and enriching. Upon entering grad school, one of the reasons why I was swayed to pursue a doctorate instead of a masters degree in occupational therapy was because I wanted to cultivate a unique project that augments occupational therapy in a non-traditional setting – working with immigrants and/or refugees, specifically, as many of yall know my proximity to this population. I didn’t know how it would be made possible, but it finally has come together full circle after three years of cultivating this goal. I am currently working for a non-profit organization that specifically works with refugee and asylum-seeking families offering essential services for self-sufficiency such as stable housing, financial support, English classes, and communal support. With the partnership of my organization I have been paired with for the next few months, I have been able to create a project that head spears a life skills program teaching various life skills deemed essential for enhancing self-sufficiency and easing adaptation to the U.S. I will be working with a small group of newly arrived Afghan women, and my program will be a hybrid of “in-class” sessions and community outings practicing these newfound skills to use in the community. It hasn’t been an easy journey getting to where I am now, I will say. LOTS of time reading literature, justifying the need for OT in this emerging practice area, coordinating participants, etc. has been spent, and I bet it will still change as I continue my process. However, through this experience, I have learned that being a self-starter and being my own boss is empowering, and I can actually make a positive difference in a community if I set my mind to it.  

I just finished my second week of my capstone so far. Some highlights of my time spent include the following:

  1. Practicing my (note: very broken and limited) French and Swahili skills with a Congolese woman attending English classes and witnessing her immediate comfortability with me.
  2. Conducting home visits and getting to know each participant in a very personalized way by learning more about their typical day upon arrival and being immersed in their culture.
  3. Having a traditional Afghan meal during one of my home visits as a way of welcoming me into their home.
  4. Meeting and working closely with my translator who is my right-hand woman and who has been a tremendous help to the success of my developing program.
  5. Being considered part of the team by being invited to an empowering staff meeting and justifying my role as an OTD student at the site I am interning at.

Overall, this has been such a culturally enriching experience so far, and I am excited to be a part of a community where I not only implement my program, but reciprocally learn a ton from the population that I am working with! I think a passion project is the perfect way to re-awaken my passion for OT and wrap up my graduate schooling (because I’m not gonna lie, sometimes that passion was waning during the consistent studying grind I had to endure for long hours on end the first two years). Stay tuned for the progression of my capstone project!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

Inpatient Rehab is the Jam – Fieldwork Wrap-Up Reflection  

Hello Renrenspeakers,

Happy December! It is already the end of the month and close to the end of the year, I can’t believe it! How is everyone’s December going thus far? As for me, it is going well! I just completed my second level II fieldwork at an inpatient rehabilitation facility here in Arizona, which also marks the end of another semester of grad school. I have ONE more semester to go and then I graduate – finally! I know that I initially updated yall on my fieldwork experience after my first week, but I have not been consistent (sorry). Therefore, I have SO much to delve into that I am going to sum up as concisely as I can.

The past 12 weeks have been such a learning curve in which I was challenged physically and mentally every day. Overall, my experience was a very pleasant one. I met so many individuals across the lifespan with various conditions, personalities, diagnoses, and life histories. Some highlights of my time being there include a patient’s wife who said she wanted to adopt me LOL, me being mistaken for a 19 year old several times, breaking through to more difficult patients behavior-wise, and overall affirmations from patients regarding my care. At this site, I learned so much about the importance of collaboration among all health professionals – OTs, COTAs, PTs, SLPs, nurses, case managers, rehab doctors, and RTs. Everyone was so willing to assist me regardless of their discipline, and I often felt like I was a part of the therapy team, as staff members asked about my clinical impressions to further confirm their treatment ideas or documentation. Quick side note – shoutout to my clinical instructor for teaching me all that I need to know and for being such a sweet soul! Though I often felt like I did not know what the heck I was doing, reflecting on how treatment sessions went afterward and witnessing patients beam about their newfound independence to don their own socks, reach down to pick an item off the floor without losing their balance or stability, or even receiving a green band were all wins that the patient and I were able to celebrate. The more knowledge and experience I gained each week, the more I was able to step out of my comfort zone and try novel ideas. If they failed (which def happened), I managed to be okay with it because I ended up learning way more from those not-so-fun experiences than if everything was perfect all of the time. Though thank God they were few, I did have some instances when a patient was maybe not the easiest to work with. It would be easy to think that it was a reflection of me, but these not so pleasant instances helped me to view the patient holistically and be more sympathetic to their current condition, life circumstances, coping mechanisms, and support systems that they may or may not have in place.

Every patient, though may have had similar diagnoses, presented very differently. It was very nice to know that over time, I was able to separate the diagnosis from the patient and view the patient as a whole. I guess that is where our famous OT theoretical frameworks come in handy. Several patients taught me the KISS acronym which also helped me regroup when it came to treatment ideas. KISS – keep it simple, stupid. Sometimes, I felt like if was not doing something super creative and innovative, my sessions were not effective. However, I had to remind myself that starting from the basics is okay! Working on what the patient NEEDS in that immediate circumstance rather than fluffing it up with distractors can sometimes be the most powerful form of therapy that will lead the patient to increased independence and function. I loved seeing the progression of care from evaluation to discharge, and observing the resilience, motivation, and improvement my patients developed during their stay. OT is truly a collaborative effort, and it is very cool to be a part of a process that feels rewarding and benefits the patient’s overall well-being.

The intense, fast-paced nature of this setting overall made me feel very accomplished, as I was initially very intimidated by the sharp learning curve. There is still a plethora of things that I need to learn and am excited to build my skills in. The beauty of this profession is that I am a life-long learner. With more experience, I learn more about the essence of people, the barriers they experience, and the tools to advocate for their care. I am blessed to have met so many people from all walks of life, and I learned so much from each patient I encountered. This setting definitely confirmed that I would like to begin my OT career in a setting similar to this one to continue building my clinical skills and reasoning in a medically-complex, challenging, and fast-paced environment.

Thanks all for tuning into the blog today! And shout out to all those who have supported me and listened to my rants, thoughts, and reflections on my clinical rotations throughout these three months. Stay tuned for more content coming your way!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

Back At It Again With Fieldwork: First Week Wrap Up!

Hello Renrenspeakers! I hope that all is well! How are yall doing? Happy official start of FALL! The weather here in AZ is finally about 95-100 degrees, which is basically equivalent to a 70 degree day in San Diego 😉 I have had a BUSY month of September, let me tell you! Every week has been jam-packed with fun and entertainment. I went back home to San Diego over the Labor Day weekend to visit my family, and then I went on a roomie trip/staycation the following week, and THEN my bestie came to visit me for a few days and we did a 24-hour staycation/day trip to Sedona the following weekend. During this time, I was wrapping up getting IRB approval for my capstone project implementation starting in January, completing my two classes, and compiling my final capstone paper while prepping for my clinical rotations. It has been a whirlwind of a month, and I cannot believe how fast it went by!

One important update about my busy life is that I am back to working full time (for free LOL) doing my second clinical rotation required of me to graduate from OT school. Also side note yall – I am finally graduating NEXT YEAR can you believe that I have 9 months left of school, yahoo! Anyway, I have left the world of pediatrics and entered the world of adults. I am currently placed in an inpatient rehabilitation setting, so I am doing my internship at a rehab hospital. I have officially completed one week of fieldwork in my new setting, and let me tell you, it is SO different than my first rotation. So far, I am really liking and enjoying my new rotation. Of course, getting familiarized with a new facility is always an adjustment. My new uniform consists of solely black scrubs instead of colorful shirts. My voice and tone changed a ton to accommodate my new population, which has mostly been the geriatric population from what I have witnessed thus far week. Though I have been there for one week only, I feel like I have already learned a TON of information. I have seen a variety of conditions, injuries, disabilities, and illnesses ranging from strokes, amputations, knee replacements, fractures, Parkinsons, and spinal cord injuries and surguries. No two patients have presented the same. Each patient has their own story about how they entered the facility. The things that I have observed my clinical instructor teach her patients thus far are things that I take for granted daily such as getting into my bed, transferring onto a toilet, showering, or dressing myself. These activities of daily living (ADLs) are a no-brainer for me to do, but for all of my patients, it can be so difficult to achieve these ADLs because they need extra time, an extra boost from another person, or need adaptive equipment to achieve these ADLs with ease and efficiency. I love that so far, most of what I have seen has been taught to me at one point during my didactic years. So shout out to my school for preparing me well enough to take on this new challenge for 12 weeks. I take comfort in being pretty familiar with OT in an inpatient rehab setting and that it is not a completely foreign territory so far. I am also gonna shout out the Palomar Pathmaker Internship that I did prior to starting grad school because I was also at an inpatient rehab facility doing shadowing hours, and I have seen a lot of overlap between that hospital and the place that I am currently at.

Documentation is always going to be an adjustment and a learning curve, and honestly the least fun part about OT. My favorite thing thus far has been helping patients achieve as much independence and function as they can or return back to. The amount of patients that have told me that they finally feel human again after our therapy session, whether it was learning how to use adaptive equipment for showering, dressing, etc. or making large strides in their recovery has been so heartwarming and reinvigorating. These patients have endured so many hardships, so the power of respectable care goes a LONG way in this setting. My patients have had incredible journeys that they have overcome in a short time. They have experienced a life that I have not, and I greatly admire their resilience under difficult circumstances.

Going into this fieldwork rotation, I feel like my energy and attitude this time around is different. I do not feel quite as scared and nervous as I did before, even though I can arguably say that this place is more physically demanding than my previous rotation. Of course, the nerves are there, but it seems easier to center myself back to confidence rather than spiral downhill (something that I struggle with at times, admittedly). I think grounding myself and gleaning on my inherent soft skills that were augmented in my previous rotation has helped a ton. My clinical instructor this week gave me an affirmation that made me reframe the way that I want to navigate this fieldwork. She said that I have my people skills down and not to worry because the clinical skills will come with time. Thus, even if I have a time when I am frozen and do not feel competent clinically, drawing on those soft skills with my patients I believe and hope will make all the difference in my sessions. Slowly, my education is coming full circle, and I am excited to see how I grow and learn as a professional after the end of my rotation and into my professional career later on. I thank God that I have been blessed with the opportunity to be a blessing to others in this field.

I will leave yall with one tip of advice that a patient told me on my second day. He first asked my CI and me about how much energy we spent on worrying per day. Of course, I know I personally exert a lot of energy toward worrying, but I couldn’t provide a measurable response. He said 98% of our energy goes to worrying, which was a shockingly super high number. Then, he said that one way to stop worrying is to verbalize the word STOP every time we have an intrusive, worried thought. He said we might look ridiculous constantly saying STOP out loud, but after 2 weeks of this practice, we would have more control over our thoughts to mentally stop worrying thoughts. According to him, from this practice, we can eventually train our brains to say STOP and release the concept of worry because worry does nothing for us but stresses us out. This was very fitting to hear my first week of this rotation especially because as a new student, there is always a need and tendency for us to be stressed, be a perfectionist, and to not fail at all. Though failing is not fun, it is through failure that I have learned the most and remember it for future application. My patient was very insightful and definitely dropped a gem I needed to hear. It is harder said than done, but if my patient can be as worry-free as possible despite his seemingly difficult condition, then I can also try to implement this practice into my daily life.

Overall, my first week in inpatient rehab has been a very pleasant and positive experience. I am excited to continue absorbing information like a sponge and to eventually start applying it to my own caseload I will start to adopt. Thanks yall for tuning into the blog! And remember, if yall are worried about anything, try implementing the STOP strategy. I will let you know how effective it was for me in 2 weeks 😉

Peace and love,

Irene  

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

What To Do With All This TIME! 

Hello, Renrenspeakers! Happy July! I just started my first week of my LAST YEAR of grad school, can yall believe that? It feels like I have been in school forever, but it also feels like it went by so quickly. The start of this semester has been so different compared to the previous two years. I have been doing a TON of reflecting this past week because I finally have… time! As a grad student, I’ve learned that time is so precious and time management needs to be on point. Throughout my schooling, I can pinpoint specific times where I told myself that I did not have time to do X, Y, Z. But now that I have transitioned to my last year of school, I have found myself with ample time to actually do things that I wrote down as goals in my Passion Planner at the beginning of the year such as exercise frequently, eat healthier, stretch, read, etc. To have time to breathe and not feel pressed for time has been so wonderful.

This first week has been such a relaxing one for me, as it has given me an opportunity to catch up on literally just existing and tapping into self-development. With the help of my Passion Planner and prayer, I’ve started off my day positively soaking in the natural sunlight radiating in my room (though it sucks because I cannot go outside because it is actually 115 degrees daily). I started incorporating oil pulling into my morning routine and committing to an 8-minute Good Morning Pilates stretch to promote flexibility throughout my body. Something that I have been really wanting to get back to is exercise. I used to be very consistent with moving my body regularly prior to school, but I fell off and realized that I had a rather unhealthy, unrealistic view on exercise in school. However, movement is powerful enough, and one of the easiest, low-demanding forms of exercise any of us can do is engage in walking if you do have the physical ability to do so. I started power walking on my treadmill, and listening to podcasts about wellness emphasize that walking fuels creativity and increases energy to do other things. Ideally, it would be nice to powerwalk outside, but hey, that’s Arizona heat for ya. Come September, you’ll definitely catch me outside. But wow, the power of walking has made me feel so lively, energized, and motivated. It really is a mood changer, especially with the stress of grad school. Thus, I am loving this new routine I am developing and hope to keep up with it! I ended my week with dressing up and watching the Barbie movie on Barbie day yesterday. It was such an entertaining movie – most definitely not what I expected, but great nonetheless. 

As a grad student, I am plagued with the familiar feeling of not being ‘productive enough’ because I only have two classes I am taking. However, having two classes is a good thing that is teaching me that it is totally okay to not always be on grind mode. Slowing down, enjoying being in the present, and having the time to be intentional with health and wellness has elevated my overall well-being, as I am already seeing the effects of establishing a healthy routine. School is unpredictable as always, but for these 10 weeks at least, I am going to soak up every moment of time that I have to finally engage in the things that I’ve intentionally or unintentionally eliminated in my life that are important to me. Cheers to having more time! 

Peace and love,

Irene  

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

Second Year of Grad School Complete! Dr. Kwangaba, 66% loaded! Reflections on 1st Fieldwork Experience

Hello, Renrenspeakers! It has been a minute since I have updated you all on my life’s endeavors and adventures! How are you all doing? As for me, I am now concluding my first week of summer vacation. I finished my first three-month clinical rotation, which we call ‘fieldwork’ in occupational therapy school. What a positive experience it was! I did come into OT school thinking I would be a pediatric therapist, and though that narrowed vision of mine has somewhat changed over time, working with children and seeing how fun and excited they were to also work with me, Ms. Irene, was so rewarding!

I learned so much about myself through this fieldwork experience. Of course, I had my challenges such as being overwhelmed by documentation and managing my time wisely. I would say those two aspects were the hardest things for me that I had to juggle because it was a completely different learning curve that I had to quickly acclimate to. As a writer, I was tempted to write down every detail that went on in the sessions that I led. Realistically, being given about 10 minutes to write my notes and trying to do a pretty narrative is not a feasible option. I had to learn how to document using the SMART method, and it was something that just took mere repetition. Time is also something that we often take for granted that had to always be on my side to be efficient with my day. Every minute always seemed to fly by. So, shoutout to my Apple Watch because if it wasn’t for that thing, I would have been so behind.

I think my favorite moment from this rotation was the children that I was blessed to have interacted with, work with, and seen progress in over time, even if they were small wins. To see my clients be able to improve their motor planning and attention to tasks to improve their life skills such as washing dishes or folding laundry, or improve their bilateral and visual-motor skills for independent leisure skills with arts and crafts via handling and using scissors properly was very rewarding and motivated me to just be a better therapist to help even more of my clients. To think that I helped contribute to this change over time in their performance and helped increase their independence reigns true to the core of occupational therapy.

I always thought that I was somewhat creative, but boy, you have to be SO creative in pediatric OT. I will say, kids get bored so quickly and they notice way more than you might think, so creativity has to be on 10 100% of the time. My iPad came in handy (shoutout Goodnotes!) for finding different ways to make various arts and crafts or other materials that could support my clients’ goals in a fun and interesting manner. What I found really cool is that if I did an arts and crafts activity, for instance, I could address so many performance skills such as bilateral hand use, visual-motor, fine motor, and attention to task, just to name a few. Even everyday games such as Candyland could facilitate turn-taking, following directions, and other essential social skills, all skills that again, seem so intuitive to the average person. However, I witnessed how crucial these skills are for this population to obtain to build friendships, interact with others appropriately and positively, and overall be as independent as they can be.

I think that the biggest takeaway from my placement is that there is never going to be a direct right answer to challenges I may come across and that I do have the skills and demeanor that it takes to be a great occupational therapist. As a student, imposter syndrome is so real. There were so many times that I felt very stressed, unsure about myself, and felt like I was merely not being effective. And yes, there were so many times I literally did not feel like I knew what I was doing, I cannot invalidate that. However, the number of affirmations and compliments that I received from my community at my placement helped build my confidence as an emerging occupational therapist. I learned to put myself out there even if it was uncomfortable so that I can grow and not be stagnant in my learning experience. I also had to consistently remember that at one point, every therapist I worked alongside was in my shoes and that they also were a novice, feeling the same imposter syndrome and lack of confidence at one point in their early career. To me, it is totally OKAY to feel like an imposter and to acknowledge these feelings, as they will help me work toward unpacking this feeling and getting the support I need to tap into my own potential. Overall, I really am so glad that I was able to do my first Level 2 at an outpatient peds clinic. The support that I had along the way did not go unnoticed, and it helped me be less Type A about results and outcomes and to trust and enjoy the journey I embarked on.

All this to say, I definitely have a heart for the pediatric population. I still am an open book and am excited to learn more about other populations I will soon encounter in my next rotation. Establishing positive relationships with clients that will forever be a part of my grad school experience at this specific site was the perfect way to end my first rotation and conclude my second year of grad school.

Thank you all for reading my reflections and for your unwavering support as always. Dr. Kwangaba is officially 66% loaded!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in graduate school, lifestyle

End of the Year Reflection – Moving Into 2023 with Intention + Two-Year Anniversary of Renrenspeaks!

Hello, friends! Happy Friday, and most importantly, happy end of the year! We are two days away from the new year, and as most of you are doing, I am reflecting on this very busy year called 2022. I am currently feeling so much peace and happiness, as I have been blessed to have made it through another year safely and in good health. I made my first Instagram Reel that I posted to reflect on this year, and it was so much fun! I am def going to have to incorporate Reels more into 2023 😉 Also, fun fact! It has been TWO YEARS since I started my blog too. Happy two years, Renrenspeakers! I learned so much about myself through this blog, and I am so thankful that you all have been reading my content and supporting me along the way. What are yall’s goals and resolutions for the new year? What has been your favorite blog post on Renrenspeaks since 2020? I would love to hear them (comment down below or email your answers to me)!

This year has been one filled with so many fun memories, sad moments, heartache, times of pure stress and anxiety, and lots of love. For starters, I am now officially halfway done with grad school, friends! She did THAT! Your fav OT doctorate student is 50% done with grad school and I could not be any more proud of myself because I am telling yall, grad school is not for the weak. I’ll be honest. This past semester has not been an easy one for me. It was a lot for me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I felt at so many points during this semester that I was not creative enough, not competent enough, or not confident enough to understand the material I was learning in my lab courses. I found myself still comparing my progress and my processing to other people, whether it was in their capstone research process or in their clinical reasoning skills. However, this semester has also taught me a lot about myself. I am confident, I can do hard things, and I have pretty solid people skills. It has been really neat to see myself slowly blossom into a practitioner in training and I am thankful for the support system that I have had on my side thus far to get to where I am currently.

A highlight of the semester was that I received my white coat since I am pursuing a doctoral degree. I think I fooled the masses – I did not graduate friends, so I want to clarify that, though it did feel like graduation. The white coat symbolizes the next step in my graduate career of contributing to occupational therapy academia and scholarship. I was honored to be the student speaker, and I think I gave a pretty humorous speech that was personable and relevant to my cohort. I also got to see my tribe come and support me too.

I was also able to do some traveling this year! I know, I did not go abroad as you may have anticipated. Instead, I went to Dallas, Texas in September for the very first time ever. When I tell you it was the break that I needed, I am not lying. My love for traveling has been halted with grad school for obvious reasons. I visited my best friend, explored the area, and caught up with old friends and family members. It was a trip that was well-deserved and allowed me to unwind from all the stressors in my life at that time. Shoutout to Harena for being the best tour guide ever and for making me feel welcome in Dallas! 😉

Another monumental moment for me this year is that I moved to a different home literally right after my week getaway to Dallas. I was impressed by how fast I was able to pack up and move all my things within two days (a very stressful two days, might I add). But shoutout to my wonderful friends who helped me move and to my awesome roommates who have made me feel so welcome in this new home. I am so grateful for people like them who have been alongside me cheering me on and supporting me through a stressful time such as moving. Moving to a different home felt like closing a chapter of my life, which I did. My old apartment was symbolic of me stepping into my mid-20s and living independently in a different state for the first time ever. I laughed, cried, yelled, prayed, and sang in that apartment. It connected me to many different types of people and helped me to prioritize my physical and mental health. It was the first time I was really on my #growngirlmoves apart from living abroad for a bit.

I know I asked yall about your new year’s resolutions, so I will share some of mine! My biggest goal is to be more intentional. I feel that God has put this word into my heart, intention. I want to be more intentional about who I surround myself with, the relationships that I build, the places that I explore, the career I pursue, the money that I spend and who/where I give it to, the food that I intake, the networks that I develop, the way I treat my body inside and out, and the way that I navigate spaces. It is easy to do things just to do them without purpose such as getting assignments done just for the sake of completing them rather than learning through them. I will say, there are so many times in school that I will continue doing things just to get them done because of a lack of time and that is the reality of life sometimes. However, I want to really try my best to take every moment as a learning opportunity, whether it be a positive or a negative experience. I am gonna start off the year with my 26th birthday, which is always a time for new beginnings and a new outlook on the year for me. I am excited to see how I bring intentionality to all parts of my everyday life and how it shapes me into a better person. I also want to be more consistent with blogging, friends! I miss talking to yall on this platform. School often gets in the way of me feeling like I have time for myself, but so many changes are happening that I would love to keep yall posted on. I cannot commit to a certain number of posts, but I am gonna try to keep yall in the loop as much as I can, especially now that I will be starting my internships next year.

All in all, I feel very accomplished this year, though it has been one that has been very challenging mentally for me. I am feeling wholesome, renewed, and restored, as I have spent the last few weeks in San Diego reconnecting with old friends, spending time with family, and revisiting some of my favorite spots around town. I wish everyone the best new year. I hope that you all can claim 2023 as a year of intention as well.

Peace and love and a very happy new year,

Irene

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

Incompetence – Let’s Deconstruct That.

Hello, friends! WOW, I haven’t chatted with you all in a while, I apologize for that! We are taking a mental health break for the rest of the week, so I have today off, whoohoo! Today I went on a run in my new neighborhood, took a nice shower, washed my dishes, completed my morning skincare routine, and listened to a great podcast. Self-care is the best care, and my mental cup is currently full. I miss you all, Renrenspeakers! Life has been chaotic as usual in the life of this grad student. I want to briefly share with you how I have been doing for real.

My mind at a glance this past semester:

July: Second year – lightweight, a breeze. No more neuro, thank God, so it is much easier, and we have so much TIME. #occupationalbalance.

August: Oh shoot, it is starting to pick up but I’m still chillin.

September: Dang, things are starting to hit the fan, as all these assignments and sudden expectations for shifting our way of thinking have been sprung upon us.  

October: Yeah… it’s kinda rough out here.

All this to say, I realized several things so far this semester. First, I don’t think the word “easy” should be used to describe grad school at any stage because that is a façade – at least for me, lol. Sure, there are different levels of busyness that I think my first year and second year demanded, but the more I go through school, the more I realize that nothing should be easy for me. If so, I am doing grad school all wrong because I personally invested my time here to be challenged and to become a better critical thinker, even if it is hard and it sucks. Second, and honestly, I think this is my biggest revelation – I think that suddenly being challenged to think like an OT is a very uncomfortable way of feeling. I believe that this year feels harder than last because, for 25 years, my mind has been trained to study hard, take tests, and repeat. However, being asked “How would you go about this?” and having to critically think while considering the psychosocial components of an individual, their client factors, their environment, AND individualizing it to the person AND always being alert AND practicing a therapeutic use of self AND taking into account barriers to care whether that is through insurance AND so many other nuances is quite difficult. This is a novel way of thinking; my neuronal connections haven’t developed appropriate pathways to readily retrieve these connections. I totally understand that I must trust the process and I do believe that I will make it out victorious at the end of it all. However, I think facing the fact that I really am more Type A than I thought makes thinking like an OT or a healthcare provider, in general, a struggleeeeee.

One of my professors sent out a check-in email last week to see how we were feeling as OT students during the semester. One of the questions that they asked was three words to describe how we are currently feeling, and I included overwhelmed and stressed in the mix (which is typically standard), but the word that I was brutally honest with which made me a bit sad to admit was incompetent. I am not sure if all the life transitions I have been going through also informed my choice of this word, but it was very fitting. That was one of the few times I’ve recently viewed myself as so because I generally feel like I have mostly worked through my imposter syndrome. At that moment, the word incompetent signified that I felt like I was not completing assignments to my full potential and that I was actively skipping opportunities to fully immerse myself in the grad school experience through networking, professors, events, etc. I went home that day and honestly did not really do anything else because I felt the need to reflect on why the word incompetent ground my gears. It is unlearning the perfectionist, people-pleasing complex that I have been conditioned by for so many years now that I believe made me feel extra vulnerable that day. I find that I am hard on myself for not knowing how to solve these case studies immediately and for second-guessing every thought that I have to offer, which is ridiculous because of course I should struggle through it. Weirdly enough, I also felt like the word incompetent was validating because I was able to pinpoint exactly how I felt particularly this semester of grad school. It made me realize that it is okay to feel incompetent sometimes. What matters is just how I proceed to work on that insecurity. That is what I believe will make me a better student, clinician, and person in the future.

I will also share one thing that I feel reinvigorated my momentary weaning passion for the field. Last week, I attended an event regarding pelvic floor therapy, and though this is not a particular niche of OT that I am super interested in, I thought it would be valuable to get a break from the traditional ways of classroom learning and to connect with current practitioners not in academia. I am so glad that I went because it resparked the possibilities of starting my own practice, but it also taught me that I could advocate for myself, market my worth, and make a difference in people’s lives without being bound to the not-so-glamorous side of healthcare such as strict insurance regulations and reimbursement policies. It was just motivating to see another self-starter previously feeling burnt out and taking action to change her life around to do what truly makes her happy. I am sure that at one point she also felt incompetent and hopeless working under someone controlling her opportunities to provide care. Again, what was inspiring was the action she decided to take to change her trajectory. And that, I believe, is what made me accept and normalize feeling incompetent for myself. There is always a way to rise above incompetency, and I have complete power to do so.

Yes, I acknowledge that my thoughts are kind of all over the place because it is reflective of how my semester has been – all over the place mentally and academically! But overall, I can say that I am feeling more refreshed now that I blurted all my thoughts here today, and that I am optimistic that I will be able to overcome my feelings of incompetency as I progress through grad school. Thank you for reading and checking in with me, and for the love and prayers you all send my way continuously. I so appreciate them, and I hope that this word touched you a bit!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in graduate school, occupational therapy

#Giveyourselfgrace

Hello, friends! Happy Friday! How are you all doing? As for me, I had a summer off from school (one month vacay, whoohoo!) and now I am back to the grind! Y’all, can you believe it? I have begun my second year of school! I am a second year OTD student. It is wild to fathom this, but at the same time, I feel like I have been in school for forever. I write to you as I am on a flight back to San Diego to see one of my favs, Maverick City Music tomorrow (though my flight is delayed, smh). So I’m basically live blogging through the sky. 😂 

I just wanted to jump on here and quickly reflect on my week! Honestly y’all, it has been a whirlwind of emotions. Though I am used to grad school being all-consuming, I felt so overwhelmed in how much information was being thrown at me and how many academic/social responsibilities I had coming my way. I had given a presentation to the first years glorifying resources I utilized throughout my first year to keep myself afloat (shoutout to the Passion Planner and the Finch app), but I could not find the motivation and the drive to follow my own advice. 

Wednesday night, I truly tried to hold myself to my “productivity standards” and “be productive,” but that was short-lived, as I was gifted with a pounding headache instead. I tried to work through it, but only found myself more frustrated that I couldn’t focus (DUH I had a headache and it was nearing bed time!). In efforts to be on top of it after being burnt out by the end of last semester, I was pushing myself to adhere to productivity standards that truly was not that serious to uphold at this moment of the semester. After acknowledging that part of this lack of concentration I had was also because I was still coming off of summer mode, I had to reset, check in with myself and remind myself to #givemyselfgrace because the perfectionist, Type A in me was already creeping in and I was not here for it. I put a lot of pressure on myself to retain everything that I had been exposed to these three days because this semester is the semester that is HUGE for me since I am taking all of my practice immersion courses and beginning my doctoral classes. This semester is the foundation of my future practice where I finally begin to fall into one of my occupational identities as an OT. That is a lot to think about!

My motto this year is to #giveyourselfgrace. All I can do to thrive is to know that I’m doing my best at any given moment. This year is much different than last year because I am slowly starting to see the puzzle pieces of OT come together. Yesterday was the first day in which I actually felt more relaxed, more comfortable, and more ready to take on the academic year. We had our first peds lab and was introduced to the topic of documenting an evaluation for a kiddo. The thought of documentation is intimidating to me, but the fact that I had the opportunity to really start to integrate the knowledge that I acquired throughout my first year made me feel powerful! My brain was definitely stretched, but it felt very reaffirming to know that I had some clinical reasoning (though very limited) to implement and apply to a case study. Where did my newfound sense of calm come from? By having a heart to heart with myself and reminding myself that I’ve done hard things before and it will be just okay! I #gavemyselfgrace by acknowledging that I’m meant to be here, I am doing the best that I can, and that I have a beautiful journey ahead of me that I’m meant to be on despite how overwhelmed I may seem or feel. 

So, I am making a promise to myself for this year. This year is going to be a year of tremendous growth for me and constantly learning how to #givemyselfgrace even when I feel that I don’t deserve it. Not only will I be continuing didactic courses, I’ll be starting fieldwork, spearheading my capstone project, and getting off my parents’ health insurance (lol I’m sad about that). I wrote this hashtag down in my weekly to-do list to keep myself accountable and challenged to remember this simple thing. So friends, I hope that you all are touched by this reflection and can too #giveyourselfgrace in your hardest moments as we all go through life transitions. 

Peace and love, 

Irene