Category: ACL recovery

Posted on in ACL recovery

My ACL Injury: 2 Weeks Post Op DONE!

Hello Renrenspeakers! I hope all is well! I am back here again, one week later! One thing I have appreciated about my recovery is being able to get back into blogging consistently. I am kinda on a roll, am I right?

It has already been 2 weeks (to be technical, it has been 16 days) since I have had my ACL surgery. I still cannot believe sometimes that I am on the other side of this FINALLY. To be quite honest, recovery has been better than I anticipated. I am very thankful for some return physically, as each day my leg gets stronger and stronger. I am still on crutches, but I have met some milestones already that I would like to share!

Since surgery, being able to lift my leg up has been the hardest thing ever. I have been squeezing that quad again and again and AGAIN and no matter how much I tried… nothing. It felt like a dead leg. My mind to body connection felt severed, and it became very frustrating to have to lift my leg up with maximal effort such as with a gait belt or my stretch band. I definitely had some cries and moments of defeat feeling like I am trying to activate muscles that are just not activating enough.

Then…. suddenly, as I was going through my daily HEP and attempting straight leg raises on Day 12, (mind you, I could only do them with much active assistance at this time) my quad decided to play a trick on me and help me unassisted lift my leg up from the bed. I probably only raised my leg up about 2 inches, BUT my leg had not done any of that since the surgery (besides Day 0 with the nerve block lol). I had to film it and do it again because I could NOT believe what I just saw.

On Day 13, I cried literal tears of joy because my quad was officially awake!!! This was confirmed in PT, as my quad cooperated and did not become shy (I told my quad to not act up in front of my PT, and she listened lol). I was able to complete 1 set of 10 straight leg raises without any assistance, and my leg was actually coming up pretty high off the bed too! It was legit a night and day phenomenon in which my quad finally remembered that it was part of my body and decided to start functioning again. In PT, my leg was UP! I told my PT that this is a new development and I still cannot believe that this was happening because truthfully, I was beginning to really hate the straight leg raise since it magnified how weak my quad was. Whoever knew that being able to lift a leg up would be something so monumental!

On Day 14, I feel like I just began to see even more activation of my quad, enough so that I actually began to take some steps without my crutches, whohoo! I could only mobilize very short distances — crutches still very much required, I might add — but it no longer felt like my whole leg was about to buckle with every step. I am pretty adamant about getting off crutches completely when the time is right, as I would like to normalize my gait rather than just follow an arbitrary timeline. However, to feel more confidence in my knee and to trust that it would not just buckle under my weight was very reassuring. I also had my 2 week post op appointment on Tuesday, and the doc said everything is looking great in terms of swelling and healing. I was able to get my bandaids off completely and see what my scars actually look like. I was even able to see some pictures of the surgery itself and my previous completely obliterated ACL transformed into a newly intact ACL provided by a part of my quad tendon. It was a pretty cool sight to see.

It is now Day 16, and though I am definitely trying to keep myself entertained at home, it is nice to reflect back on some of my very early post op videos and pictures and already see how much progress I have made thus far. The largest lesson I have learned this week is that ACL recovery is by no means a sprint. It is a marathon. I really REALLY have to be patient and just learn how to retrust my knee. For example, my patience regarding initial activation of my quad finally paid off, as I was literally crying the previous day about how annoyed I was that I could not lift up my leg. Sometimes less is better especially if my knee is aggravated. The more reps I do won’t necessarily make a difference if this is not what my knee needs at the moment. ACL recovery is also not linear. After my appointment, I had to do some quick errands, and I noticed that my knee was more achy than it typically had been. In that instance, I tried to initially push through my discomfort, but then realized that it was not doing me any good, let alone my knee. Thus, I forced myself to take a nap and elevate the rest of the evening. When I woke up, it felt much more manageable again. Hence, I gotta listen to that knee because it is telling me something at all times!

I’ve heard from my PT, medical team, and other ACLers that my knee will scream at me if I overdo it sometimes, and it is very true. Finding newfound mobility, especially as a person who loves being a busy bee, I’ve been tempted to test my limits. Recovery has a way of reminding me that the mind and body are not always on the same page — and that sometimes the body wins. That’s okay. I look forward to seeing what week 3 of ACL recovery will look like, what milestones I will achieve, and what challenges I will have to overcome.

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in ACL recovery

My ACL Injury: 1 Week Post Op DONE!

Hello, Renrenspeakers! I hope all is well! I am officially ONE WEEK post-op from my ACL surgery that was done last Tuesday (technically I am day 8 now). I can’t believe how quickly time has flown by. I remember ruminating about surgery day for 6 weeks, wondering how recovery would be like and how much pain I would be in. Now don’t get me wrong — there is definitely physical pain involved. Day 0 (the night after my surgery) was such a tease compared to the week that I’ve had. I had a nerve block that targeted my saphenous nerve for the surgery, and with that, I still had motor movement of my quads. Thus, I was able to get in and out of bed with barely assistance, lift my leg to go to the bathroom, etc. I could even stand for a bit with minimal pain. I felt a lot of numbness in my anterior knee/quad, and I was thinking, “Wow, if I feel like this already, week 1 recovery is gonna be a breeze.” I went to bed feeling pretty good and in minimal discomfort overall.

The next day, I woke up from my leg being elevated all night on my wedge pillow, went to the bathroom, washed my face, brushed my teeth, did the whole thing. I felt fine…. until I did not. The front of my leg felt like it started to burn, and I had to lie down immediately. I was scared that I had already done something wrong to my leg and maybe I overworked it the day before. It quickly clicked that the tingling, burning sensation I was feeling was the effects of my nerve blocker wearing off. Yeah, that maybe 3/10 pain I felt Day 0 quickly shot up to at least an 8/10, even a 9/10 a few moments throughout the day. I was pretty much bedridden with continuous ice and religiously following my medication regimen in order for the pain to somewhat minimize. I had a few cries throughout the day and felt completely defeated — something as basic as swinging my leg over the side of the bed, which I could do the day before, suddenly felt impossible. All I wanted to do was to take a nap, and even taking a nap just caused so much discomfort and pain.

Day 2 is when I felt like I received a new burst of energy and some hope again. Pain was definitely still there, but it felt way more tolerable like a 6/10 even with pain meds than compared to Day 1. I didn’t even cry that day, lol! I was still mostly bedridden, but I found my way back to civilization in small ways — a phone call here, a distraction there.

By days 3-7 things were noticeably better. I felt much stronger, my energy was returning, and I even migrated to the couch to spend time icing and elevating there instead of in my room. I felt like I could tolerate being upright more, and I either got used to the pain, it became more manageable, or I was less focused on it (probably a combination of the three), making each day feel more hopeful.

Life after surgery is HARD, and I am finding that things take so much more time and exertion. However, it is also wonderful to find beauty in the little things that I do end up accomplishing. I wanted to share 10 milestones that I am personally grateful for achieving thus far:

  1. My first 2 PT sessions have been great. It feels good to exercise and challenge my body to regain its flexibility and strength again. At my first PT session, my AROM for my right leg was 53 degrees of flexion, and my extension was already nearly close to 0 degrees (I am hypermobile, however, so I still have some degrees left to go to achieve the same symmetry as my left leg). Since I am weight bearing as tolerated, I was able to complete some calf raises without the use of crutches (holding a bar, of course), and I was able to get such a good stretch in my calves that made me feel more confident with weight bearing with my crutches for ambulation.
  2. I took a total of 3 showers, and the third shower was the most successful because I finally figured out how to maintain a comfortable enough position while sitting on my tub transfer bench. I was mostly able to complete it by myself (minus set up with my brace and compression sleeve).
  3. I started using the bathroom all by myself including the toilet transfer since day 4 post op and it was a huge success.
  4. I reinvented my gait belt to a leg lifter (shoutout my OT knowledge to make this adaptable), and now I can also get myself in and out of bed with the assistance of my gait belt.
  5. I was able to sit in a chair at the dining table semi comfortably for almost an hour while eating breakfast, though my leg was still mostly extended as I sat on the chair. However, I did not need any stool this time to prop my leg on it for additional comfort.
  6. I have weaned off most medications. No more oxy for me (prescribed of course, lol), whohoo! Ibuprofen is still in rotation though just in case.
  7. I was able to stand and bear some weight on my right side without crutches to complete tasks such as brushing my teeth, washing my face, and even assisting minimally to make simple meals with my mom.
  8. I can sleep on my back pretty comfortably with my leg elevated throughout most of the night. I am such a tummy sleeper that I was worried I was not gonna be able to get any sleep during this process. Surprisingly, I can fall asleep with almost no issues on my back!
  9. Pain has been pretty manageable after Day 1 of my surgery. I would say on an average since Day 2, it has been no more than a 5/10 even after PT sessions.
  10. I switched from wearing an ace wrap to wearing a compression sleeve under my hinge brace, and it feels SO much better and less restrictive overall.

Overall, week 1 has been a lot physically and emotionally. The hardest part is just realizing how taxing ‘simple’ tasks such as going to the bathroom, taking a shower, and moving around the house is. However, I could not have made it through this first week without some of my biggest support systems such as my fiancé, my mom, and my roommates. They have been extremely all hands on deck, making the first few days of surgery way more seamless and less impossible. From making meals and refilling my ice machine to lifting my swollen leg, managing my medication, and even tucking me in at night — every little act made my heart so full and reminded me how loved and supported I am. I am also so incredibly grateful for all the other people who have checked in on me and have sent encouraging words, thoughts, prayers, care packages, and food! I feel all the warmth and love, and without the support of everyone in my life who is so special to me, recovery would have gone differently emotionally and mentally.

Week 1 is just the very beginning of a long journey ahead. I know there will be a LOT of bumps throughout the road, as progress is never linear. I tell this to my patients all the time, so I must also understand what I preach lol. Nevertheless, I feel much more resilient than I did before my surgery already, and I am looking forward to continuing my path of resilience and becoming stronger in every aspect of my well-being.

Thanks for tuning into the blog, and be on the lookout for my next update for week 2 recovery! 🙂 Shoutout to the ACL warriors out there who are doing their best every day to be better and better!

Peace and love,

Irene

Posted on in ACL recovery

My ACL Injury: Origin Story

Hello, Renrenspeakers! It has been a while since I’ve hopped on the blog, and let me just tell ya — life has been LIFING! I have some more exciting life updates to share later, but I thought I would give yall an update on what has been going on with me health-wise these last two months.

On May 3rd, what I thought was going to be a fun opportunity to elevate my athletic skills turned into a life-altering moment. Here’s the back story. I had decided to join a recreational soccer league with my now fiancé and my friends after supporting them during previous seasons by being their best cheerleader, haha. As I am getting older, I want to keep my athleticism up as preventative measures for health. My fiancé and my friends even made it a point to start soccer agility training just so that we could feel somewhat conditioned for the new season. Mind you, I have never played soccer in my life for real. The extent of my soccer experience has been kicking the ball around during PE. Thus, in addition to my power walks, dance classes, and gym, I was excited to add soccer to my athletic repertoire.

I survived our first soccer game of the season (all I knew was that I was to be a defender lol) and though my endurance was shot, I thought I did pretty well for my first game. For the second game, I ended up assuming more of the position of offense. I found myself even attempting to score a goal, which was very exciting! About 10 minutes into the game, the soccer ball came towards me, and I extended my right leg, attempting to kick the soccer ball. At the same time, a girl from the opposing team ended up kicking my knee out laterally, and I remember instantly falling to the ground and feeling instant, debilitating pain. I was kicked so hard in the knee that I had to be carried out by my friend and my now fiancé. I remember someone telling me to breath, but I could not even open my eyes — that is how much pain I was in. However, never suffering any kind of injury and honestly thinking I am lowkey invincible since I’m relatively young and active, tearing any kind of ligament was the last thing that my mind went to. I encouraged my fiancé to finish the soccer game and that I would just tough it out until the end as I sat on the bench with the most amount of discomfort. Mind you, I was in excruciating pain the entirety of that game and could only limp, but I didn’t want to be a debbie downer. I ended up limping the rest of the day even after I came home.

Since my soccer team is primarily made up of OTs and PTs, I thankfully had a PT who quickly assessed my leg and gave me some comfort that it is most likely only a sprain, especially since I didn’t feel an immediate pop or have immediate swelling at the time of injury. As an OT myself, I recommend the RICE method for pain relief and decreased swelling for patients all the time. So that is what I did – rested, iced, compressed, and elevated the entire night. I was unable to bear my full weight on my right leg, however, and my range of motion became very limited that day. I ended up noticing increased swelling at my knee as well hours after initial onset. That Sunday evening, I ended up calling off from work because I legitimately could not walk well enough to work.

Now it is the next day, Monday, and I wake up to my knee still swollen (actually it looked worse than yesterday). The wellness freak in me immediately became very anxious, and my kind fiancé ended up driving me down later to the nearest orthopedic clinic to get my knee checked out as requested. I am still limping at this time, but my gait was a bit better than the previous day. Definitely not well enough to drive, however. I am very grateful I was able to quickly make an appointment with an orthopedic healthcare provider, and he ordered a STAT MRI just to rule out any structural damage after conducting a quick assessment of my leg. I am a woman of action, so I immediately got an MRI scheduled for the following day. Again, this entire time I was thinking that my knee was probably just sprained really bad, so when he said “structural damage” that was the first time I ever thought to myself that this could be a more serious injury. Nevertheless, the ACL was the LAST thing I ever would have imagined.

It is now Tuesday, 2 days post my unknown ACL injury at the time, and I get my MRI. By this time, I am still limping, but it is much less noticeable than it was on Sunday and Monday. I even tell work that I am walking well enough to return back to work the next day. This was my first time ever having an MRI, so the process itself was pretty daunting. However, everything went smoothy despite having to pay a way larger amount for the test than was anticipated (that is a whole other conversation). They tell me that I will hear back in 3-5 business days to hear back from imaging for the interpretation of my results.

Wednesday rolls around, my leg is not nearly as swollen anymore, and my limp is virtually gone. I am even back at work! Though, my knee still feels… off. My ROM is limited, especially with flexion, I can’t squat the way I used to, and my leg is very fatigued after standing for extended periods of time. In hindsight, I definitely should have taken the day off but at this rate I am still very delusional thinking that I probably will have just a knee sprain. I even have another PT do a quick assessment of my knee, and in his conclusion, the worse case scenario based on how well my knee was moving was that there could be meniscus damage. Feeling mostly normal and being able to push through the discomfort gave me a false sense of confidence that nothing could ever be really wrong with my knee. I end up receiving a call from my original orthopedic care providers saying that they would like to schedule an appointment to go over my MRI results, and me, not even thinking too deeply asked if they could just tell me over the phone. I was on go go go mode, and the last thing I didn’t have “time” for was to go to the doctor’s office to discuss my health results outside of my work day. However, I ended up making it work and scheduled an appointment for Thursday.

That same day, I routinely call my boyfriend at the time to tell him about the nonsense of my typical work day. I am at home now, and I distinctly remember that I could actually look at my MRI results on my patient portal. I even was trying to look at my results at work earlier, but I did not remember my credentials (thank GOD now looking back because that would have been a nightmare to find out at work). I tell him, “Let me just look right now”, not super nervous about the news that was to come. Then, I read out loud the results, and the first thing I see is something to the effect of: complete tear of the anterior cruciate ligament. I read it and did not really process what that meant at first, and then I heard him say, “oh no…” and immediately my jaw is on the floor because it just clicked in my head that it was the ACL! I think I am completely in shock at this moment that I end up telling my boyfriend at the time that maybe it is a rare instance where they get the patients mixed up and it is actually not my results, lol (healthcare isn’t perfect, by the way). Once I get off the phone, I immediately start bawling and I am just overcome with anger that this is happening to me. I still held off a tiny bit of hope that it could be an error and that I would wait until Thursday to find out from the doctor himself.

It is now Thursday, and I am 4 days post injury anxiously waiting for my doctor’s appointment. My coworkers tell me that it is going to be okay and they are sure it is nothing serious, but that night I could not sleep because of COURSE I immediately go to Google and google everything and anything about ACL injuries, including recovery timeline, surgery options, and long-term affects with deciding to go a more conservative route. It is too much for my brain to take, so I just smile and chug through the day pretending that I am completely oblivious to the devastating news that I would later hear in person at my appointment.

I am now at the doctor’s office later that afternoon, and immediately when the doctor comes in to discuss my MRI results with me, the first question out of his mouth is “Have you heard of an ACL injury before?” In that moment, my last glimpse of hope about this whole scenario potentially being the wrong patient chart is completely shattered, and I nod, “Yes, I already saw the results.” It took every ounce within me to not break down sobbing in his office due to the sheer disappointment and fear of what was to come. My doctor went over surgery options, healing timelines, out of work accommodations, and a whole bunch of other topics that I honestly kind of blacked out on due to feelings of being overwhelmed and in disbelief that this was really happening to me. He was able to schedule me to meet with a surgeon that specializes in ACL reconstruction to see if surgery was the option that I wanted to go (though it was highly recommended, as this was a complete tear that I had). As I booked my appointment with the front desk before I left the office for the day, I remember her just telling me, “I am so sorry.” I think at that point, all the tears I held back the entire day just started to surface, and before I even left the building, I started sobbing. First thing I did was call my boyfriend and started sobbing for probably a good 20 minutes straight. It was a cathartic cry, not gonna lie. That was one moment in my life I felt so low and that I hit rock bottom because something that was supposed to be super fun and exciting and just keep me active quickly became a physical, emotional, mental, and financial strain on my life in the least expected way. I repeatedly asked God “why me?” and just sat with that for days. Not only the physical pain of not being able to engage in sports the way that I once did, but even simple things like criss crossing, squatting, driving, and sitting on the floor became so difficult. I felt like a large part of my independence was instantly taken away from me. People all around me would say things like “you are so strong” and “I can’t believe how well you are walking on your knee injury”, but internally, I felt so broken and so frustrated with my body.

To top it all off, life doesn’t stop for you just because YOU have something catastrophic going on in life. I had to navigate seeking financial assistance/protection of my job as a new employee at my work, surgery options, continuous doctor’s visits and follow ups, student loan repayment modifications, and physical therapy post op care all while going to work and having to provide my best quality care to my patients. Some days I felt like I was there but not present, which is never a good thing when you are at your wits end but still have to show up for other people. The last two months were SO hard in every way I could imagine. But I am a big believer that no matter how insane or difficult a situation is in life, God doesn’t throw us situations that we cannot handle. Thus, I had to find some meaning as to why this particular incident happened to me.

I feel like what was revealed to me over these past two months of navigating this season of my ACL pre-op was that I needed to choose and prioritize rest, and that if I neglected resting, it would choose me eventually. I made it a point this year to up my financial bag, killing it with finding a new job to maximize my income all while PRNing at another facility every other weekend. In that process, I was giving a lot of my time to work so that I could reach my financial goals faster. However, I felt like a zombie so many times throughout the process, dreading a 6th consecutive day of work more often than not, and never felt refreshed during the little weekend I did have. I think I reached a point of burnout, which is always a huge indicator that something’s gotta change. I wasn’t quick enough to make this change, so in many ways, maybe this incident was literally a physical sign that I have to reprioritize other aspects of my life that give me more joy than working for a paycheck to reach some arbitrary financial milestones.

I am now 4 days post ACL surgery, and recovery has mostly been smooth physically. I will be sharing my post-op journey in a later post, but I just wanted to share with yall my ACL injury story. It is a deeply emotional event that has quickly humbled me and has changed me already in so many ways that I was not expecting. As inconvenient as I might think it is, I look forward to relearning about my body and trusting it again. I believe that this injury has already made me so much more resilient, stronger, and a better advocate for my needs. Any ACLers – we are a fighters and we will get through this!

Peace and love,

Irene